Family Ties
by Brandywine421
Summary: Leftover from the sentence challenge: "Grace Thompson, a 58 year old, well to do VP of a major corporation back East, finds out that the daughter she lost contact with when she ran away at age 15, has two sons, Trey and Ryan."
1. One

**_Disclaimer: I don't own anything OC related. Seriously. Nothing. _**

**_AN: This was an abandoned sentence from the OC sentence challenge a long time ago that miss suga reminded me of. Thanks for the reminder! Hope it's satisfactory!_**

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**_1) _****_Grace Thompson, a 58 year old, well to do VP of a major corporation back East, finds out that the daughter she lost contact with when she ran away at age 15, has two sons, Trey and Ryan._**

* * *

"Dude."

"Yeah?" Ryan glanced at Seth, giving him attention.

"That old lady keeps checking you out," Seth said. He nodded across the room.

They were both in tuxes, attending a function that Kirsten was putting on for the Newport Group to honor their out of state contributors.

"Yeah, I noticed that…who is she?" Ryan nodded.

"No idea. The only people I know here are Mom, Dad, Grandpa and you," Seth sighed.

The lady was dressed professionally in a navy blue pantsuit. She had cropped sandy blonde hair and was drinking white wine. Her blue eyes were locked on Ryan.

"It's creepy," Ryan muttered.

"Creepy?"

"She looks like…never mind…" Ryan turned his back on her stares. "How long should we wait before we bounce?"

"Um, Ryan?"

"Yeah?"

"She's coming over here," Seth whispered.

"Excuse me," A woman's voice said immediately.

Ryan turned and regarded the woman. "Can I help you?" He was tense. What did she want?

"Grace. I see you've met my boys," Kirsten smiled, appearing beside Ryan and Seth.

"Kirsten. These are your children?" Grace smiled pleasantly.

"This is my son, Seth, and this is Ryan." Kirsten said evenly.

"Ah. Such healthy boys you have."

"Do you have children, Grace?"

Ryan was uncomfortable under the woman's stare. Kirsten even noticed Grace's strange rapt attention to him.

"I have two sons and a daughter. I haven't seen her in nineteen years," Grace replied, still staring at Ryan. He kept his gaze lowered, respectfully.

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Thompson," Kirsten said sympathetically. She put a hand on Ryan's shoulder. She turned as Sandy approached. "This is my husband, Sandy."

"Grace Thompson. I'm V.P. of the East Coast branch of the Harris Corporation. We do a lot of business with Kirsten," Grace shook his hand. Her gaze went immediately back to Ryan.

"I see you admiring my beautiful family," Sandy said, giving Kirsten a concerned look.

"It's just extraordinary…" Grace murmured. She gently put her hands on Ryan's shoulders and he flinched instinctively. "He looks just like her…"

"Excuse me?" Ryan asked quietly.

"I'm sorry. You have a very nice family." She released Ryan and walked away.

"Ryan, do you know her?" Sandy asked.

"I've never seen her before," Ryan replied.

"That was just strange," Kirsten muttered.

"So, does that mean we can go now?" Seth asked.

-----------

Grace called her son as soon as she got to her hotel room. She wasn't coming home immediately. She needed to stay an extra few days.

-----------

"What are you doing up?" Sandy kissed his wife on the cheek. It was 4 am and she was in the kitchen eating ice cream.

"Couldn't sleep."

"What's wrong?"

"It's that woman from the party…the way she was looking at Ryan…"

"He's an attractive kid," Sandy shrugged.

"She had his eyes…" Kirsten whispered.

"Kirsten? What are you thinking?"

"I don't know…I just have this feeling…"

"He doesn't know that woman, Kirsten," Sandy said, honestly confused about his wife's mood.

"We don't know anything about his family, Sandy. What if she's related to him and she…"

"Honey, he doesn't have anyone except for his mother that could ever contest our custody of him. "And she'd never win."

"I know," She sighed. "I'm being stupid."

"It's cute on you. You're cute when you're protective."

-----------

Kirsten's secretary buzzed her the next afternoon. "Grace Thompson would like to see you."

"Send her in." Kirsten was immediately on her feet to greet the woman.

"Kirsten. Thank you for seeing me."

"Of course. I thought you'd be back in Boston by now."

"I had a change of plans," Grace replied evenly.

"Is everything okay?" Kirsten asked. They sat down across from each other in the spacious office.

"Is Ryan your real son, Kirsten?"

"Excuse me?" Kirsten flinched. She knew that her coloring was close enough that most people assumed he was her son but this woman clearly knew better.

"I'm sorry." Grace had dark circles under her eyes. "But your son looks exactly like my daughter and…and I have to know."

"You think Ryan…is your grandson? Grace, I thought you were from Boston…"

Grace reached into her briefcase and pulled out a photograph. She handed it to Kirsten. "This is my daughter."

"Dawn…" Kirsten sighed, recognizing the woman immediately.

"You know my daughter?" Grace gasped.

"I need to call my husband…"

"Kirsten, do you know my daughter?" Grace asked urgently.

"We've met. Once."

"So she's alive?"

"Last I heard. My husband has to be here for this," Kirsten replied, trying not to panic. She opened her phone. "Sandy? It's an emergency. Can you come to my office? And bring Ryan's file? Now, yes. Thanks."

Grace has started to cry softly. "I have a grandson…"

"You have two. Ryan's older brother, Trey, is in jail upstate."

"Jail?"

"Dawn wasn't the best mother."

"How do you know my daughter? Why is my grandson living with you?" Grace asked.

"I don't know your daughter, I know Ryan."

"How? Please tell me…"

"Why don't you tell me what happened between you and your daughter?" Kirsten replied.

Grace hesitated.

"Ryan is a child. I need to know your story, too." Kirsten needed Sandy to be here.

"Dawn's father and I divorced. We shared custody of her…but I was always so busy that…that I didn't see what was happening. She was 15 when she ran away and my ex didn't report her missing for over a month, he'd lied to me about why she didn't show up at my house. I had no idea she'd get this far…I've never stopped looking for her…"

"I'm sorry, Grace," Kirsten said honestly.

"I never stopped searching or hoping…and when I saw Ryan…"

"Kirsten?" Sandy rushed in, breathless. He was startled to see Grace.

"Sandy. This is Grace's daughter." Kirsten handed him the picture.

"Oh my God." Sandy sat down beside his wife, stricken.

"She hasn't seen Dawn since she was 15," Kirsten added quietly.

"Kirsten…you said you didn't know Dawn," Grace said, composing herself.

"I'm a lawyer, Mrs. Thompson. I met Ryan when he was arrested. He impressed the hell out of me and…we took him in after his mother kicked him out…" Sandy said slowly.

She gasped.

"Ryan rarely speaks about his mother or his life before he came to live with us but we know that he has had a rough life. His father's in jail for armed robbery and his file reads like a war novel," Sandy added.

"He was abused? Not my Dawnie…"

"Ryan has become very well-adjusted. We don't pry into his past…he doesn't know you exist, Grace," Kirsten said evenly. If Sandy hadn't been holding her hand, she didn't think she'd be able to speak.

"I'll get you in touch with the private investigators that helped us find Dawn last time," Sandy said.

"And Ryan? Can I see him?"

"That will be entirely up to Ryan," Sandy said quietly. "I'll make a call to Trey as well."

"I want to see my grandson."

"If he's not comfortable, Grace, we won't force him. We'll talk to him," Kirsten said.

-------

When Kirsten and Sandy walked into the house, they thought it was empty.

"Your ninja sucks," Seth said quietly. They found Ryan and Seth playing muted PS2 in the living room.

"They why did my ninja just decapitate your ninja?" Ryan murmured.

"I hate your ninja," Seth muttered.

"I hate your ninja more."

"Boys?" Sandy said and they both jumped, startled.

"Damn," Seth remarked. "We were totally zenned out on PS2."

"'Zenned out'?" Kirsten smiled.

"Yeah, see, Ryan says I talk too much so we've created zen gaming..." Seth said enthusiastically. Ryan simply shook his head, amused.

"I had finally got him wound down," Ryan sighed.

"We need to talk to Ryan, Seth. Can you give us a few minutes?" Sandy asked.

"What did you do?" Seth grinned at Ryan as he stood up. Ryan shrugged, clearly confused as well.

"No eavesdropping. I'm serious," Kirsten told him. Seth sensed the tension and Ryan immediately tensed up as well.

"You're not in trouble, Ryan, relax," Sandy said once Seth was gone.

"What's up?" Ryan asked, not relaxing.

"Ryan…can we ask you some questions? About your family?" Sandy asked. He had spent most of the afternoon with Kirsten discussing the best way to have this conversation.

Ryan's face flashed with confusion. "What's going on? Is my mom okay? Is it Trey?"

"No, honey," Kirsten said quietly. Her soft words only upset him more.

"Did you ever meet your grandparents?"

"Grandparents? No, I mean, my father's dad died when I was, like, 10, and Dawn's parents…she never mentioned them."

"She never mentioned them? You never asked?"

"No," Ryan replied honestly. "I learned not to ask questions."

"Ryan…" Kirsten started.

His blue eyes were dark and thoughtful. "That lady last night. She's Dawn's family?"

Sandy and Kirsten glanced at each other. "She's your grandmother," Sandy said.

Ryan didn't respond. He didn't look up.

"Ryan…"

"What does she want?"

"Your mother never mentioned her?" Sandy asked. Kirsten was watching Ryan, worriedly.

"Never. She never mentioned her mother."

"What about her father?" Kirsten probed.

Something flashed in Ryan's eyes. "No."

"Ryan…" Kirsten whispered, frustrated.

He shook his head. "She never said anything…not definitely…she'd say…that we didn't know how good we had it, that her father was…that he was much worse than our dad…but…"

"Grace would like to get to know you," Sandy stated.

Ryan didn't reply.

"Ryan…if you want to go and talk to Trey…"

"Trey and I have nothing to say to each other," Ryan muttered.

Sandy glanced at Kirsten. There was obviously a lot that they didn't know.

"What do you want to do?" Kirsten asked.

"I want to go start on my homework." Ryan got up and walked out through the kitchen.

"I think he took that reasonably well," Sandy sighed.

"What are we going to tell Grace?" Kirsten asked.

"We'll give him some time before bringing it up again. It's a lot for him to take in…" Sandy sighed.

----------

The next morning, Ryan didn't come in for breakfast. Kirsten, for one, was grateful because Grace had called at seven am, asking when she could see him.

"Grace, he's got a lot to deal with…"

"Will he see me?"

"Why don't you concentrate on finding Dawn…"

"I'm meeting her at lunch, Kirsten and I'd like to talk to Ryan before I see her…"

"I'm sorry, Grace. It's his decision and he wants to think about it," Kirsten replied. "It's taken long enough for him to settle in here, I won't let this upset him…"

"He's my family, Kirsten, I have the right to see him…" Grace replied.

Kirsten got a chill. "Grace…"

"He's my family. He shouldn't be with strangers, he should be with his family…"

"I'm sorry, Grace. I guess you'll be hearing from our attorney," Kirsten said, hanging up.

"What's up, Mom?" Seth asked, walking in.

"Can you go check on your brother?"

Seth glanced at her, curiously. "Ryan? Why, did you ground him or something?"

"No. He just hasn't come in yet," Kirsten replied.

Seth shrugged and walked out of the house. Sandy entered, his hair wet from surfing.

"What's wrong?"

"She's going to try and take him from us…I can feel it…" Kirsten murmured as she embraced him. The phone rang.

"What did she say?"

"She said he belonged with his family, that we were strangers…" She let a couple of tears escape. They'd been through too much to lose him now.

"Kirsten. That woman is a stranger to him," Sandy said gently. "We're his family. He knows that we'll fight for him…he's seventeen, there's no way the courts will give her custody…"

"Really?"

"Trust me. Answer the phone." Sandy kissed her cheek. "I'll go check on the kids."

Kirsten answered the phone again as Seth returned through the kitchen doors.

"Where's Ryan?" Sandy asked.

"Says he's not hungry," Seth shrugged. "But something's bothering him."

Kirsten focused her attention on the phone call. "Hello?"

"I'm sorry, Kirsten. I was out of line. This is just…"

"Complicated. I'll call you later, Grace. Good luck with Dawn." Kirsten hung up.

"What?" Seth's attention was rapt on his mother. "Who's meeting Dawn?"

"The lady from the party the other night is Dawn's mother," Sandy said quietly.

"Whoa. Are you serious? Ryan has a grandma? Wow…" Seth muttered.

"Seth," Sandy sighed.

"What? I mean, It's got to be pretty weird to have grandparents materialize out of midair. Or Boston, whatever," Seth replied.

"I'm going to go talk to him," Sandy said.

"You might want to wait on that. He's pretty grumpy today and I just woke him up," Seth warned.

"I'll take my chances," Sandy grinned.

"Don't say I didn't warn you!" Seth called after him.

Sandy knocked quietly on the poolhouse door. Sure enough, Ryan was still in bed, his hair disheveled.

"'Morning, kid," Sandy said.

"I'm already late, can this wait?" Ryan grumbled, slowly getting to his feet.

"Get ready while we talk," Sandy said, sitting down.

Ryan glared at him.

"The glare doesn't work on me, I was vaccinated months ago. What's on your mind?" Sandy asked.

"Sleep. And how I can't get enough of it," He muttered as he went to the shelves where he kept his clothes.

"Ryan…"

Ryan turned to face him with an annoyed look on his face. "Look. I don't care. If you want me to see her, I'll see her. It doesn't make any difference to me."

"Ryan…"

"No. I'm serious. I don't care, Sandy. Whatever happened between her and Dawn is their business. Not mine. I don't care. If you think that she deserves a chance, fine, I trust you. But I don't care and it's too early for you to lecture me."

"Why are you so angry?" Sandy asked as Ryan opened the door to the bathroom.

"It's like whenever I get the complications down to a manageable level, something like this happens. Long-lost grandma wants a piece of me, now? Let her try and find something left," Ryan mumbled, slamming the door behind him.

"Wow. He is grumpy," Sandy sighed.

----------

Sandy returned to the kitchen and found Kirsten sitting with Seth at the counter.

"What did he say?" Kirsten asked.

"That he'd do whatever we want," Sandy sighed.

"What does that mean?" Kirsten asked immediately.

"That he doesn't want to talk about it," Seth answered. Kirsten and Sandy could always depend on Seth to interpret 'Ryan-speak'.

"He says he doesn't care either way," Sandy added. Kirsten sighed.

"You just sprung this on him last night, he's probably still thinking about it. I mean, you just threw a Grandma at him," Seth replied.

"Don't push him, Seth. But if you could talk to him, we'd be grateful. Find out what he wants to do," Sandy suggested.

"So this lady wants to see him? Why?" Seth asked.

"He's part of her family. She didn't even know he existed…"

"You believe her? I mean, what kind of story did she spin to you guys?"

"Seth…"

"I mean, if some stranger walked up and said she was my long lost aunt or something, you guys would have P.I.'s out the wazoo checking on her. But you just believe this woman?" Seth asked.

"That's a good idea. We should definitely get some more information about this woman before we even consider letting her see him," Sandy said.

"Grace has been a colleague of mine for years. She's an upstanding citizen," Kirsten said quietly.

"You're sure? Like, sure enough to send Ryan to her for 'bonding' time?" Seth asked. "Because let me tell you what, Ryan and bonding don't really mix. Not even with upstanding citizens." He lowered his voice. "Is she going to…take him?"

"No. There's no way we would let her take him," Kirsten answered immediately, glancing at Sandy.

"Did you tell him that? Like, does he know?"

"He knows that we'd fight for him," Sandy replied.

"Well, I don't know what you want me to do. Judging from what I know about Ryan's other family, I wouldn't let anyone related to Dawn anywhere near him," Seth stated.

----------


	2. Two

----------

Ryan was silent in the backseat of Summer's car on the way to school.

"Chino's certainly in a mood today," She whispered to Seth.

"He's fine. He's decaffeinated," Seth whispered back.

"Oh god, there wasn't coffee?" Summer gasped.

Ryan glanced at them for an instant before returning his attention to the car window.

"Ryan, do you want me to stop by Starbucks for you?" Summer offered.

"What?"

"Coffee. He's not even functioning, it's, like, so awful…" She said to Seth, truly concerned.

"I'm fine, Summer. I'll get something at school," Ryan said quietly.

"If you're sure." Summer glanced at Seth again.

Once she parked in the parking lot, Ryan was out of the car and up the hill before either of them could stop him.

"Damn. He must really want that coffee," Summer remarked.

"We went to this party last night and this old lady kept staring at him. Turns out she's his grandma and now she wants to see him."

"Oh god. That must be weird," Summer realized.

"Yeah. So he's in total brood mode. He told Dad that he'd do whatever Dad wanted…"

"He's going to let your dad make the decision for him? Like…isn't that…"

"Wrong on so many levels? Yeah. So, just give him some space today until I talk to him, okay?" Seth asked.

"Sure. It's not like me and Chino are all talkative and stuff," Summer shrugged. He put his arm around her.

"So, yesterday, when we had that argument, who'd you call to talk about it?"

Summer shoved him. "That was different. Chino gives me a male perspective when I need it."

"You can't get a male perspective from me?"

"Cohen, come on. But I can give him some space. You're going to talk to him?"

"My parents want me to give it a shot."

"Well, let me know if I can help," Summer said, kissing him on the cheek before disappearing into a flurry of skirted classmates.

----------

"Ryan?"

"Yeah."

Seth followed the sound of his friend's voice into the deserted classroom. Ryan was sitting at a desk by the window, a pencil in his mouth and papers spread across his desk.

"What are you doing?"

"This…stuff…makes absolutely no sense to me. It's like, it's a foreign language or something," Ryan muttered, pulling the pencil from his mouth to speak.

Seth walked over and perched on the desk beside him, taking a sheet of the paper from the desk and examining it. "Dude, it _is_ a foreign language."

"It sucks. How the hell am I supposed to write an autobiography in French? I mean, there're no words for 'jail' and 'stolen car' in this dictionary," Ryan added, replacing the pencil in his mouth.

Seth smiled at his friend's slight attempt at humor. "So, you're spending your free period…"

"Studying. Or attempting to study," Ryan sighed.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Studying?" Ryan asked, confused.

"No, dude. Mom and Dad told me what happened. Creepy lady from the party is now your Grandma."

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"Ah, except you have to talk about it. You're obviously thinking about it, so by default, you're required to talk about it."

"No. I'm not." Ryan started to gather his notes and stuff them into his backpack.

"Dude, come on. It's me. Just tell me what you're thinking," Seth said.

Ryan sighed. He zipped up his backpack. "I'm going to go out for a smoke. You want to take a walk?"

Seth didn't know that Ryan was still smoking but he followed him. Ryan sat down beside a parked car and lit a cigarette. Seth never even saw the pack before Ryan had hidden it in his pocket again.

"So, what's up?"

"Your parents really believe this woman is Dawn's mother?"

"Your grandma. And yes, they do."

Ryan sighed and inhaled deeply off the cigarette. "I don't know what you guys expect me to do. Should I be, like, overjoyed that she's here? I don't know her, Seth. She's a stranger. I've never even known she existed."

"But aren't you curious as to who she is? Don't you want to get to know her?"

"Why? Damn, Seth, I mean, I've spent the majority of my time in Newport explaining myself and telling people who I am, where I come from. Taking charity," He muttered. "Now there's another person who I have to explain myself to? Another person with expectations of me? I'm just fucking tired."

"But, she's part of your family…"

"What family? You think I consider Dawn my family now?" Ryan replied. His voice was low but serious. "I didn't know what family meant until I came to stay with you and your parents."

"Okay, dude. So you don't want to see her."

Ryan sighed. "I told your dad that…"

"I know what you told my dad, but you didn't mean it. You don't want to see her. Mom and Dad won't make you…"

"What if she is Dawn's mom?" Ryan started again. "Because if she is, why haven't we heard from her? Why didn't she try to do something for her daughter? Where the hell has she been all these years when my mom needed her? If she's really a nice lady then Dawn wouldn't have turned out the way she did."

"Dude…"

"That's wrong. It's not her fault…" Ryan recanted immediately. "Dawn made her own decisions."

"Ryan, just pause a second," Seth said. He sat down beside him on the pavement. "Your brain is spinning too fast for even me to follow."

"Sorry," Ryan smiled sadly. "I was just really happy that things had settled down."

"Things are still settled. Nothing's going to change. You live in my poolhouse. My parents love you and they won't let anything happen to you. But now, you have your very own Grandma."

"Stop saying that."

"It's true, man. This woman is related to you. This woman had a major part to play in your life…"

"What?"

"She had your mom, man. She might not have been around, but you wouldn't be around if she wasn't. And I don't want you to see your mom, no matter how much you miss her or she needs you because she's bad for you. But I know that it has to suck not to have anyone…anyone of your own. So, I don't know what you should do but I think…"

"What?" Ryan asked after Seth paused for a long time.

"I think you should talk to Mom and Dad about it. Because…because I'm ashamed to say this, but I'm not qualified to tell you what to do."

"I told Sandy that I would do whatever he said," Ryan said.

"But you didn't tell him any of that stuff that you just told me. He's a Dad, he doesn't know how you feel and stuff. He's completely out of the loop unless you actually use your voice and communicate verbally." Seth turned to see if Ryan was listening.

Ryan lit another cigarette.

"Dude?"

"I guess…I guess I still have some thinking to do."

"Well, I'm here for your sounding board…" Seth started.

"I know. Thanks. For listening."

The bell rang behind them and Seth stood up. "You ready?"

"I think I'm skipping this class. I'll catch up to you in fifth period, okay?"

"Sure thing."

----------

Kirsten met Grace for lunch at a small café near her office. Sandy was joining them as soon as his case was done at the courthouse.

Grace wasn't as well composed today. She had red eyes from crying and was sipping from a steaming cup of coffee.

"Grace."

"Kirsten. Thank you for meeting me," She said.

"Sandy's coming later."

"Good. That's good. I met with Dawn."

"How is Dawn?"

"Terrible," Grace replied immediately. "I…I can't believe what she's become. I had no idea."

"She's had a lot of problems."

"I'm sorry, Kirsten, for what I said this morning. Ryan shouldn't be with her. He's better off with your family…from what I saw today…I can't imagine what Ryan and Trey have been through."

"Have you spoken with Trey?"

"Dawn and I went to the prison to talk to him but as soon as he heard his mother's name, he refused to see us."

"I'm sorry, Grace."

Grace's hands were shaking. "I just…I've been looking for her for so long and to find her, now, after all these years…" She met Kirsten's gaze. "I think I'm too late. She hates me. It's like, she resents me for not helping her but I couldn't find her…I tried but I couldn't find her…"

"Dawn made her own decisions."

"I know. But she's an alcoholic…and she's on drugs…and she couldn't even take care of her kids…I guess I didn't take care of my kids, either…" Grace admitted.

Sandy appeared, taking the seat beside his wife. "I wouldn't say that, Grace. Your sons speak very highly of you."

"You spoke to…" Grace started, surprised.

"We had to make sure you were telling the truth. That you aren't here to hurt Ryan," Kirsten said.

"Your son, Graham, is flying out to make sure you're okay. He's worried about you. He's worried about what seeing Dawn will do to you," Sandy explained.

"Sounds like Graham. Maybe he can talk some sense into his sister."

"Dawn…we don't want Ryan to see her. It only upsets him," Kirsten started slowly. "We've told him about you and he's thinking about it, but we do not want Dawn around him without his permission…"

"Even with his permission, we won't encourage it," Sandy added. "She's abandoned him again and again and it's not healthy for him to keep letting her into his life just so he can be let down again."

Grace nodded. "I can tell that you care about him very much. I've seen Dawn and I'm not giving up on her, I mean, she's my daughter…but I understand where you're coming from. I don't want to take Ryan from you. He seems to have a good life. He seems happy. But I would like to be a part of his life. I'd like to get to know him. I'd like to see him."

"It's still up to Ryan," Kirsten said.

"But can't you…can't you talk to him?"

"We won't order him to see you," Sandy replied. "The ball's in his court. He just needs some time to think about things."

----------

"Seth? Ryan? Are you guys in here?" Sandy made it home before Kirsten and went searching for his boys.

"Dad?" Seth's head popped up entirely too fast from the couch. A second later, Summer's head popped up beside him.

"Mr. Cohen," Summer blushed.

"Hello, Summer. Seth, is Ryan here?"

"He went to the gym with Luke," Seth replied. "They'll be back later."

"Oh. Okay."

"Everything all right?"

"Fine, fine. Just let him know I'm looking for him, okay?" Sandy asked.

"Sure," Seth nodded.

Sandy walked out of the living room.

"Should you have told him that Luke and Ryan have been gone since sixth period?" Summer whispered.

"I'm sure they're fine."

"They're barely friends and you know they weren't going to the gym."

"Where else would they go? They don't have anything in common besides muscles and punching people," Seth said.

Summer pulled out her cell phone and dialed Luke's number.

"What are you doing?"

"Just checking on them," She said.

They heard the phone ring nearby.

"That's weird…" Summer remarked.

"Stop following me, Luke…" Ryan's voice echoed through the kitchen.

"Dude, just wait a second…" Luke was saying.

Summer hung up the phone and followed her boyfriend into the kitchen.

"Man, I'm sorry, I didn't…" Luke said.

"What the hell happened to you guys?" Seth asked. Luke's shirt was smeared with blood and his face was bruised. Ryan had a black eye and his lip was split.

"Nothing," Luke and Ryan said in unison.

"Dad's home," Seth said.

"Shit…" Ryan disappeared through the doors toward the poolhouse to get cleaned up.

"Luke, what the hell happened?" Seth demanded.

"We got into a fight."

"You and Ryan? But…" Summer started.

"Yeah, we're friends, but…he's a little edgy and I'm a little edgy and things just got a little heated…"

"And you both ended up a _little_ beat up? What were you fighting about?" Seth asked.

"I couldn't even tell you," Luke said, throwing his hands up. "That's how fast it happened. But I'm getting out of here. Tell Chino that I'll see him later."

----------

Sandy was in his study working on some leftover paperwork when he heard Ryan's tentative voice.

"Sandy. Can I talk to you?"

"Of course. Come in," Sandy said, immediately closing his file and giving Ryan his attention. "What happened to you?"

"Luke and I got into an argument…"

"You should learn to argue with your mouth instead of your fists, kid…have you put some ice on it?"

"Yeah. Rosa already scolded me," Ryan said quietly, sitting down.

"It looks painful."

Ryan gave him a weak smile. "Yeah, but I earned it."

"Is that what you need to talk to me about?"

"Not really."

"Okay, kid. What's on your mind?" Sandy asked.

"When I have things on my mind, I sort of lose focus. I let something stupid that Luke said set me off. I bought a pack of cigarettes. I cut some classes…" Ryan spoke quietly but Sandy heard every word. Ryan had never spoken to him so honestly before.

"So, I'm not thinking straight and it's all because of this woman. I'm sorry about fighting and cutting school and smoking and all the stupid things I did today but…I don't know what exactly I'm supposed to do."

"Okay, Ryan," Sandy said quietly.

"I finally feel like I'm getting settled, Sandy. Finally, for the first time in my life, I feel like I'm actually a part of something. I'm not just Dawn's kid who pays the bills and picks her up off the corner every night. I'm not Trey's little protégée…I'm not even the juvenile delinquent from Chino anymore. I finally feel like I'm turning into someone all on my own…" He whispered. "I don't want to have to explain myself to her. I don't want her pity or her regret…I just want to be left alone. It's like…Seth says that she deserves a chance. But he has a Nana. He has a Grandpa. I never have, not like that. I don't know what I'm missing. I don't need her, Sandy. I'm tired of doing everything for other people."

Sandy had never heard Ryan say so much in one sitting and it only drove home how much this was bothering him.

"But…if she is my family…I guess…I guess I have to see her."

"You don't have to do anything, Ryan."

"What do you think?"

"I think…I think this is a lot for you to have to handle."

Ryan snorted.

"I don't want to tell you what to do. You don't have to see her. She wants to see you. She seems sincere. She doesn't want to take you from us, she just wants to talk to you."

Ryan nodded.

"What do you want to do?"

"Will you…will you come with me?" Ryan asked quietly. "When I meet with her?"

"Of course. Whatever you want."

"Thanks."

"So…do you want me to set up a meeting?"

"I guess so."

"What if we invited her here? That way, you'd have your support system around you."

"If you think that's best."

"Ryan…we don't want to pressure you…"

"I don't know if I want her here."

Sandy was surprised. "Okay. I'll call Grace and set something up."

"Thanks, Sandy."

"Don't worry, Ryan. Relax."

Ryan hesitated by the door. "Am I…"

"Don't let Kirsten find your cigarettes and I expect you to apologize to Luke," Sandy said. "You came to me and explained your behavior and I appreciate your honesty. But no more cutting school and fighting. Deal?"

"Deal."

----------

Sandy made the arrangements and by the time Kirsten arrived home, he had made plans to take Ryan to her hotel for dinner. Ryan was with Seth in the poolhouse.

"You're taking him to see her?"

"I'm taking him to see her. He asked me to go with him to meet with her. He's pretty upset about it."

"He talked to you?" Kirsten was surprised.

"Yeah. He talked to me. It was almost surreal to hear him talk so much."

"What did he say?"

"He said that he finally felt settled here. And that he didn't want to have to rehash all his history with this stranger. But you know how Ryan is. He'd do anything for his family. Even the family he didn't know he had. As soon as I said that she seemed sincere and she only wanted to talk to him, he said he'd meet with her. I have no idea how tonight's going to go, though," Sandy admitted.

"I'm glad you're going with him."

"I'm not going to push him to talk, Kirsten. I'm just there because he asked me to be there. This is his decision. If he decides to walk out as soon as he sits down, I'm following him out," Sandy replied.

"You better."

----------

Ryan didn't dress up and Sandy didn't tell him to. He was wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt. As usual, he was wearing his wrist cuff and watch. Sandy rustled his hair before they walked into the hotel's restaurant.

"You ready for this?"

Ryan's silent glare answered his question.

Sandy gave him a smile and a pat on the back as he spoke to the concierge about their reservations. They were seated immediately in a table by the window.

"Sandy…has she seen my mom?" Ryan asked quietly.

"She met with her today."

"Did she…" Ryan started but stopped speaking as Grace approached.

"It's okay," Sandy reassured him.

"Mr. Cohen. Ryan. Thanks for coming." Grace sat down nervously in the seat across from Ryan. Ryan gave her a polite nod.

"Grace," Sandy acknowledged.

"Ryan, I know this is all a big shock to you and I'm sorry…"

"It's not really your fault, is it?" Ryan muttered.

"Can I tell you about myself?" Grace asked.

Ryan nodded.

Sandy was used to being a mediator in court but he wasn't prepared for this situation. Ryan's entire posture was tense and closed off. His blue eyes gave away none of the emotion behind them. Grace was nervous as well.

"Well, I'm from Boston. I went to college and have a degree in corporate finance among other things. I met my ex-husband, Darrell in college and we had three kids together. We divorced when Dawn was around eleven. I shared custody with Darrell and they'd spend the summer with him and the school year with me. Some weekends, he'd take them when I'd go out of town. I traveled a lot for work."

Ryan was listening silently.

"Grace, Ryan doesn't really talk much. It's nothing personal. Go on," Sandy said quietly.

Grace nodded. "Dawn started getting into trouble at school when she was about thirteen. She had gotten the attention of some of the older boys and wanted to date. I insisted she was too young but she would sneak out and was a terror to deal with. I put her in therapy, but she wouldn't go. She got better around fourteen and started doing well in school and even played volleyball for a semester…but then it all went bad again. She went to stay with her father for the summer and something happened. He couldn't deal with her. She was fifteen…she couldn't even drive a car and he…he let her go. She packed her things and told him that she was leaving and he just let her go. She was just a kid…"

"You looked for her," Ryan stated quietly.

"I didn't find out for about a month. I was busy with a big deal at work and when my boys would call, they'd always say that she was out and that she loved me. When Darrell told me that she'd been gone for that long…I lost it. He'd forced my boys to lie to me and he hadn't even looked for her…there was no trace of her. I never stopped looking, Ryan. I never stopped looking for her."

Ryan gave her a nod.

"I…I met with her for lunch today."

"How is Dawn?" Ryan asked quietly.

Grace hesitated. She had tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "She's…she's awful."

"Sounds like Dawn," He muttered.

"Ryan…what about you? Will you tell me about yourself?" Grace asked, using the napkin to dab at her eyes.

Ryan glanced at Sandy who gave him a slight nod. "Well. I stay with Mr. and Mrs. Cohen now because Dawn kicked me out. A few months ago, I got busted stealing a car with Trey and Mr. Cohen…he was my lawyer. I didn't have anywhere to go and he let me stay with him."

"They said that you're really smart. Your mom said…" Grace started.

"Ryan does very well. We've enrolled him in private school and he's been maintaining a 4.0 average," Sandy said when Ryan didn't answer.

"That's great…" Grace said.

"Before all that, I lived in Chino. Before Chino, we stayed in Fresno."

"Your father…"

"He's in jail for armed robbery," Ryan answered evenly. "We moved when he got arrested."

"Your brother…Trey…is he as intelligent as you are?" Grace asked.

"He's smarter than I am. But school never really worked for him," Ryan replied quietly.

"Why not?"

He met her gaze. "He couldn't make as much money in school as he could on the streets."

Grace seemed startled. "Dawn…she didn't take care of you?"

Ryan glanced at Sandy again, clearly unsure of how to answer.

"I'm sorry…let's order. I need a minute, we're moving really fast," Grace said, recanting her question. She waved the waiter over and they ordered their drinks and appetizers.

Ryan was even stiffer now than when he first arrived. When Sandy gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder, he jumped, startled.

"Ryan, do you want a few minutes to go freshen up?" Sandy offered, seeing that Ryan's nerves were frazzled.

Ryan glanced at him, confused. Finally, he nodded and stood up, disappearing through the doors. Grace watched him go.

"You're very good with him," She said quietly.

"He deserves it. He's a good kid."

"Why'd you do this for him? Why'd you take him in? I mean, you already have a family…"

"Ryan's special. When I met him, I saw his SAT scores and I was blown away. He was painfully quiet, he's still quiet, but there was something about him. Dawn came to pick him up and she was just…horrible to him. I gave him my card and told him if he needed anything to call me. And he did. I picked him up and he'd gotten into a fight with someone, he'd never tell me who. It was just supposed to be for the weekend but when I took him home, his mother had cleared out. She didn't even leave his things," Sandy said quietly.

"Oh."

"We've had our bumps along the way. He's still a little more…physical than we're used to."

"The black eye…"

"He got into a disagreement with one of his friends. My son, Seth, is very nonviolent. He's into more verbal confrontations but Ryan…he tries to settle things with his fists," Sandy admitted.

"It's probably all he knows…" Grace said quietly.

"Ryan's adjusted well to life with us. We don't push him to talk about his past and he doesn't offer much information. What he told you tonight about his father is about the extent of what we know about his father. We don't care about that. Ryan is a good kid and he's a part of our family now," Sandy said quietly.

"I can see that. You think he's okay?"

"He'll be back."

----------


	3. Three

----------

Ryan was standing in the shadows smoking a cigarette with a shaking hand. He really didn't want to be here anymore. She seemed like a nice enough lady but he was still unsure about what she wanted from him.

She couldn't just want to get to know him. She had to want something.

But he couldn't read her. She seemed really sincere.

A tall man stopped by the front stairs of the hotel. He set his bags down and walked over toward Ryan. "Can I bum a smoke?"

Ryan didn't respond but passed him his pack. The man plucked a cigarette and gave the pack back to him. He lit it with a lighter he pulled from his pocket.

Ryan expected the man to wander off but he didn't move. Ryan cast a suspicious glance at the man.

"You're a little young to be smoking."

Ryan glared at the man. It was then that he recognized the eyes.

"Mom was right. You look just like Dawn," The man stated.

Ryan shrugged.

"I'm Graham. I guess I'm your uncle." He held out his hand.

Ryan glanced at the hand for a long moment before finally shaking it.

"Strong grip. Someone's been training you," Graham smiled.

"I should get back. We're in the restaurant having dinner," He said quietly.

"So you _can_ speak…" Graham teased, picking up his bags and following Ryan into the hotel.

Ryan didn't wait for the man to follow him, he simply returned to the table and sat down. He saw Graham checking in at the desk in the lobby.

"Your son is here," Ryan said quietly to Grace.

"Oh, Ryan, we should have told you he was coming…" Grace apologized, flushing.

"It doesn't matter," Ryan responded.

Sandy leaned over and immediately held out his hand. Ryan stared at it. After a moment, he pulled out his pack of cigarettes and placed them in his hand with a sigh.

"Thank you," Sandy said, putting them in his pocket.

"Ryan, I'm sorry if I upset you…" Grace apologized, watching the exchange with interest.

"It's okay. I bet you were surprised to find Dawn, too," Ryan said quietly.

"Is it okay if Graham joins us?"

Ryan shrugged. Grace got up to get her son.

"Ryan, are you all right?"

"Yeah. She's nice."

"Are you sure it's okay if he…"

"I guess she needs support, too," Ryan replied before he could finish his question.

"Okay, kid. If it gets to be too much for you, just say something."

"I'm okay, Sandy. Thanks."

Sandy nodded. Grace returned with her son at her side. "Mr. Cohen, this is Graham."

Sandy shook his hand as the waiter pulled up another chair to their table. Graham sat down across from him.

"So what did I miss?" Graham asked.

"Ryan was just telling me a little about himself," Grace said.

"What happened to your eye?" Graham asked.

"I had a disagreement with one of my friends."

"A friend?" Graham asked.

"Yeah. A friend," Ryan replied.

"I met with Dawn today," Grace said quietly.

"You found her? Where is she?" Graham asked immediately.

Grace simply shook her head.

"Dawn is pretty messed up. She's been messed up as long as I've known her," Ryan said quietly. He met Grace's gaze. "It's not your fault. She's just got a lot of problems."

"Problems?" Graham asked.

"She's an alcoholic…or at least she was drunk when I saw her. She's thin and…" Grace continued. "And she's using drugs."

"Oh no…" Graham whispered. He turned to Ryan. "But you don't live with her, right?"

"Ryan stays with my family now. He's been with us for a few months," Sandy said.

"What about her other son? Don't you have a brother?" Graham asked Ryan.

"Trey is in jail. He'll get out in a couple of years," Ryan whispered.

"Oh. And your father?" Graham asked.

"Jail," Ryan responded.

"So…so you lived with her until…"

"Dawn did the best she could. She wasn't necessarily a good mother but she's the only one I had. You guys…you haven't seen her in years, you don't know what she went through. I'm not making excuses for her, but she doesn't deserve you judging her," Ryan said suddenly.

"I'm sorry, Ryan," Graham apologized.

Ryan shrugged. "I guess we've all known Dawn about the same amount of time. About fifteen years. Hey, she cut me loose, too, so I guess that's her limit on acquaintances."

"Ryan," Sandy whispered. "You're her son, you're more than an acquaintance."

"You don't know her either," Ryan said quietly.

"Let's all just relax, guys. This is rough on everyone and we are still strangers," Graham said slowly. "Let's just try and get to know each other before we start hurting each other's feelings."

Ryan nodded. He gave Sandy a quick glance.

The waiter brought the appetizers and quickly took their orders.

"So, Ryan. How old are you?" Graham asked.

"Sixteen. Last month," He replied.

"Do you have a car?" Grace probed, wanting to know everything.

"Sandy says once my probation is up that we can discuss it," Ryan replied. "But Newport's small and it's easy to get around."

"And you've made friends here?" Grace asked.

"Yeah. Newport's great. Sandy and Kirsten have been very good to me," Ryan nodded.

"When's the last time you saw your mother?" Graham asked quietly.

"She calls sometimes," Ryan replied quietly.

"She calls you?" Sandy asked, surprised.

"Yeah. I figured you or Kirsten had given her the number. She calls every couple of weeks," Ryan whispered, startled that Sandy didn't know.

"But she doesn't have visitation?" Graham asked.

"She doesn't want visitation," Ryan replied.

"But…" Graham started. "You're her son…"

Ryan shrugged and muttered under his breath, clearly uncomfortable. He glanced at Sandy.

"Ryan…" Grace started.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," Ryan said suddenly.

Sandy gave him a worried glance.

"Don't worry. You already took my cigarettes," Ryan stated, leaving the table.

"He's skittish," Graham said quietly.

"He's probably talked more tonight than he has in days. He doesn't talk that much," Sandy said. "He's one of the quietest kids I've ever seen."

"Sandy, was he abused?" Graham whispered.

"Graham's a child psychologist," Grace explained.

"Ryan had a rough life. But he's very well adjusted now. He still gets into fights a lot, but it's usually because he's defending someone he cares about."

"But Dawn…did she abuse him?" Graham asked.

Sandy sighed. "He doesn't talk about it. I think the physical abuse was more from her boyfriends than from Dawn. If he finds out you're a shrink, he's not going to talk to you. I'm going to go check on him. He's had a long day."

----------

Sandy returned with Ryan after a few minutes and their food was waiting on the table.

"Sorry about that," Ryan apologized as he sat down again.

"It's perfectly fine. I'm just glad that you agreed to see me," Grace said quietly.

"Mom…she never talked about you. She never mentioned you at all," Ryan replied.

"You never asked? I mean…" Graham started.

"We didn't ask questions at our house," Ryan replied quietly. Sandy glanced at him. He remembered the statement from when he and Kirsten had first told him about Grace.

"She's pretty angry with me. I was so busy that I wasn't there for her when she needed me…" Grace whispered.

Graham immediately put his hand on his mother's shoulder. "She could've called you to come get her, she could have told you what was going on but she didn't. She knew that you loved her and that she could go to you but she made the decision to run away. It's not your fault."

"But Graham, she hates me…" Grace said quietly. "She's…she's so broken…"

Sandy glanced at Ryan but he was staring at his untouched plate. "Maybe we should continue this another time."

"Can we see you again?" Graham asked as Sandy waved the waiter over and motioned for boxes for their food.

Ryan immediately glanced at Sandy for guidance. Graham didn't take his eyes off Ryan.

"We'll be in touch. Grace knows how to contact us," Sandy said. "We'll give you a call in the morning."

"Thanks for meeting with me, Ryan. It really…it means a lot," Grace said as they stood up.

"I'm sorry that Dawn is being so awful to you. Usually, if you catch her before noon, she's a little more lucid," Ryan said quietly.

"Thank you, Ryan," Graham replied, stricken.

Sandy put his hand on Ryan's back as they turned to leave but Ryan paused before turning back to face them. "I can call Trey for you, if you want. See if he'll agree to see you."

"Would you come with me?" Grace asked.

"Trey and I aren't exactly close anymore. But I'll see what he wants to do. Sandy will call you." Ryan turned and led Sandy toward the door.

Grace turned to Graham to speak but he beat her to the punch.

"What the hell did Dawn do to that kid?" Graham whispered.

Ryan paused once they were on the sidewalk.

"What? You okay, kid?"

"Yeah." He didn't move.

"Ryan, I know that was difficult, but it's over now. You ready to go home?"

Ryan nodded and when Sandy put his hand on his back and urged him toward the car, he matched his gait to Sandy's and they walked.

He was silent in the car but a few miles from the house, Sandy turned to cast a quick glance at him. "Ryan. Can we talk for a few minutes before we get home?"

"What's up?"

"Your mother calls?"

"Yeah. I figured you knew…"

"Does Seth know?"

"No…" Ryan replied quietly.

"What do you talk about?"

"We talk about…about what's going on in her life," Ryan's voice was lowered to a whisper. "Am I not supposed to talk to her?"

"No, Ryan, she's your mother but…but I wish you had told me."

"I thought you knew. How else would she get the number?"

"I don't know. But if she upsets you…"

"She doesn't call for me. It makes her feel like less of a failure to keep in touch. She tells me about AJ and about her jobs. She tells me things that she thinks I'll be proud of…"

"What?"

"Like, she tells me when she gets a new job…she tells me when she goes a day without shooting up…she tells me when she manages to pay her bills…stuff like that."

"She doesn't ask about you?"

"I don't want her to know about me," He replied.

Sandy pulled the car into the driveway and put it in park. "Ryan. If your mother upsets you, I want you to feel like you can come to us. To me. I know she's your mother and I would never try to make you choose us over her but I am worried about what she does to you. What she makes you feel."

"I can handle it, Sandy."

"I know. But you don't have to handle it anymore."

Ryan glanced down. He nodded. "Okay. I'm sorry…"

"You didn't do anything wrong."

"But…"

"If talking to your mother isn't hurting you, I don't want you to stop. But if she's still abusing drugs and drinking then I don't want you to see her without us. But we are here for you. If you need to talk about her or Grace or anything else that's on your mind."

Ryan nodded. "I know. Thanks."

"I'm not going to tell Kirsten that you were smoking again. But if I catch you again, I'm going to come clean."

"Okay. I think I'm going to go lie down."

"You haven't eaten…"

"I'm okay. I'll take it for lunch. Thanks for taking me tonight."

----------

Ryan was lying in the dark when he heard the door open to the poolhouse.

"Ryan?"

"Hey, Seth."

"What's up? It's like, 9 o'clock and your lights are off…" Seth whispered.

"Why are you whispering?"

"In case you're sleeping…"

Ryan laughed quietly as Seth sat down at the end of his bed.

"How'd it go?"

"Okay."

"Can I get a little more description?"

"She's nice. Her son is nice. They seem nice."

"You met her son? So, now you have, like, a grandma and an uncle?" Seth asked.

"Yeah. I guess so. They want to see me again."

"And you?"

"It was like an interrogation."

"Ryan, 'how are you' feels like an interrogation for you," Seth teased.

Ryan smiled.

"So, you've decided to mope instead of eating and making conversation with yours truly?"

"I just feel like I've had a long day."

"You're lazy. Get up. Summer went with me to the game store but she has zero hand/eye coordination so I need you for this new game. And you can eat something so Mom and Dad will stop talking about bringing the scale out here. They say you're thin."

"I'm not thin."

"You're not as thin as I am but they're still talking."

"I've, like, gained weight…"

"So, you're on a diet?"

"No, dude…" Ryan snorted.

"Then come inside. Come on, man, you're not a hermit, you're not sick, you're just brooding for no reason," Seth pleaded. "Please?"

Ryan tossed the covers back and stood up.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

Seth smiled widely as he led Ryan toward the house.

Seth stepped in and immediately yelled, "Ta-Da!" Summer clapped enthusiastically. Ryan gave her the finger and she laughed.

"Seth, how'd you get him to come inside?" Kirsten asked. She was leaning against the counter beside Sandy.

"He paid me," Ryan said evenly. Seth shoved him.

"What happened to your eye?" Kirsten asked, seeing his black eye for the first time.

"Did you apologize to Luke?" Sandy asked before he could answer.

"Yeah. I called him when I got back. His dad bought us some boxing gloves," Ryan replied with a slight smile.

"Really? Hey, will you teach me how to box?" Seth asked immediately.

"Cohen, you're so pale, you bruise if someone looks at you too hard," Summer said.

"Are you hungry?" Kirsten asked.

"Seth said you guys are stressing about my eating habits," Ryan said.

"He can eat after we start this game, I need his ninja…" Seth said, pulling him by the arm into the den. Summer settled on the couch behind them as they sat down in the floor with the controllers.

"How was your meeting?" Summer asked Ryan once Kirsten and Sandy went into his study.

"Ryan now has a grandma and an uncle," Seth answered.

"Heavy," Summer whispered.

"They're nice," Ryan sighed.

"But?" Summer probed.

"They're still strangers," Ryan stated quietly. Seth and Summer waited for him to continue. Ryan's ninja slashed at its attackers. "I don't know what they want."

"What they want?" Seth asked.

"I mean…they don't know me. They didn't even know I existed until, like, yesterday. What do they want?"

"They just want to get to know you. Aren't you curious about them? Like, what if you have cousins or something?" Summer asked.

Ryan shrugged.

"He's already got a family," Seth said quietly.

"Now he's got more. I mean, my grandparents are dead, my mom's MIA and all I have is my Dad. Is there such a thing as too much family?" Summer asked.

"With a family like mine…like, my real family…I don't know," Ryan replied. "I just…it's not something I ever considered. Dawn…" He let his words drift off. "Let's just play."

----------

Ryan was released from Seth's hyperactive bonding demands around eleven and he went to the poolhouse. As soon as he changed into his sweats for bed, his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, baby. It's your mom."

"Hey." He could hear the slur in her voice and sat down to get ready to listen.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay. Are you okay?"

"No." She sniffled and he could tell that she was crying. "I got into a fight with AJ and…I miss you so much, baby."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, it's mine…I'm so sorry, baby…I love you so much…"

"I know, its okay…"

"My mom's here."

"I know."

"You met her? You talked to her?"

"Yeah. We had dinner tonight. With your brother, Graham."

"Graham? Oh god…"

"Mom…why didn't you ever tell us about her?"

"Because…just because, baby. I started a new life here. I left all that behind."

"She seems nice."

"You don't know her."

Ryan waited for her to continue.

"I can't believe I'm getting upset about her. But…"

"She's your mom," Ryan whispered.

"I know…it's just been so long…"

"Dawn…"

"Don't call me that, baby, please…" She started to sob.

"I'm sorry, mom, don't cry…" He hated to hear her cry.

"Will you…can you come see me?"

Ryan didn't answer. He was thinking about what Sandy had told him earlier. This was the first time his mother had asked to see him.

"Please, baby?"

"I don't know. I'll have to ask Sandy…"

"I'm your mother…you'd listen to him over me?"

"I live with him. I follow his rules now…"

"Ryan, please, I need to see you. Please, baby…"

"I'll have to see, Mom. Can I call you back?"

"Soon? You'll call soon?"

"Yeah, mom. I'll call you back," Ryan said.

"You promise?"

"I promise. I'll call." He waited until he heard the soft click. He sat in the poolhouse for a long moment before getting to his feet. He saw that the kitchen light was still on so he went inside.

Sandy was in his robe stirring a cup of tea.

"You drink tea?" Ryan asked. Sandy jumped, startled.

"Occasionally. What's up? I thought you were going to bed."

"I got a phone call."

"Oh," Sandy said, surprised.

Ryan sat down at the counter. Sandy took the seat beside him.

Sandy waited for him to continue but he didn't. "Who called you, Ryan?"

"Dawn. She wants to see me. She's never asked to see me before."

"What did you tell her?"

"That I had to talk to you first and I'd call her back."

"It's too late tonight, Ryan. But if you want to see her, I'll take you," Sandy said after a pause.

"What if I don't want to see her?" Ryan asked.

"Then I'll call her and explain it to her."

Ryan hesitated. "It's just…I don't mind her calling. It's nice to talk to her. To know she's okay. But if I see her…"

"I understand, Ryan. It's hard. Your mother…"

"Has a lot of problems. But they're not my problems anymore. I know all that."

"But it doesn't make it easier. What do you want to do?"

Ryan sighed. "I'll call her. I'll explain it to her."

"Why don't you call her now? I'll be right here and if she wants to talk to me, I'll be here for you."

Ryan gave him a slight glance. "I can call her. It'll be fine. You don't have to…"

"I want to, Ryan. Call her."

Ryan walked over to the phone and dialed his mother.

----------


	4. Four

_AN: Yeah, I'm in a rut. But I hope this chapter won't ruin it for everyone. Thanks for reading. More to come later. _

* * *

"Baby?"

"Hey, Mom." Ryan had his back to Sandy so he wouldn't see his reactions. He didn't want Sandy to see him this vulnerable. His nerves had been strained even before his mother's call.

"Are you coming?"

"I can't."

"What? Baby, I need you, I need you to…"

"I said that I can't."

"They won't let you see me?"

Ryan straightened his shoulders. "I can see you if I want to. But I don't want to."

"What?" She gasped. "Baby, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying it's after eleven and I have school in the morning and I can't come to Chino tonight."

"I'm your mother. I'm more important than school or those people you're mooching off of…I'm your mother. You owe me…" She whispered.

Ryan wasn't sure what to say. He didn't owe her anything. But she was his mom, that would never change.

"Ryan, you're my boy and I need you. I need to see you now. More than ever. Please…please, baby…"

Ryan's posture had first alerted Sandy to turn in the conversation. He moved to Ryan's side. He put his hand on Ryan's back and was pleased when he didn't flinch.

"I can't see you tonight, Mom. It's too late, it'd be after midnight before I even got to Chino…" Ryan started again. "I can't see you tonight."

"Why are you being like this? I need you and you're just fucking me over, you don't even care…"

"I do care, Mom…" Ryan started.

"I can't believe that you'd be this way to your own mother…" She started to sob.

Ryan couldn't listen to her tears and didn't want Sandy to take the phone from him so he did the only thing he could do. He hung up. He turned to leave the kitchen but Sandy clamped his hand down on his shoulder.

"Wait just a second."

"I'm just going to bed…"

"You're going to lie out there and not get any rest. Just wait a second. Take a breath."

Ryan hadn't realized that he was holding his breath. He exhaled and realized that he was shaking.

"Sit down, kid. Just for a few minutes," Sandy urged. Ryan accepted the seat at the counter when Sandy pulled it out.

Ryan didn't feel like talking. He felt like downing a pint of something extremely alcoholic and chasing it with something stronger. He felt like smoking until his lungs hurt. He felt like hitting something really hard.

"Do you want…"

"No." He really didn't want to talk about it. He shouldn't have told Sandy anything at all. He should have kept quiet.

Sandy nodded. He sat down beside Ryan and sipped from his tea.

The silence thickened as they sat there.

"I guess…I guess that I'll always hope that she'll get better."

"She's your mother. You'll always love her."

"Even if she doesn't deserve it?"

Sandy nodded. He patted Ryan on the back again. "It's never going to get easier. Until she accepts that she has a problem and gets some help…it's always going to be tough to talk to her. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Ryan glanced at him. "Can I go lie down?"

"Try and get some rest, okay?"

Ryan nodded. "Thanks." He stood up and went to the door. He paused.

"Ryan? Why don't you stay in here, tonight? The guest room is really comfortable."

Ryan turned and looked at Sandy, confused.

"I'd just like to keep you close tonight," Sandy said.

Ryan nodded. He didn't really want to be alone in the poolhouse tonight. He followed Sandy to the guest room.

* * *

Kirsten woke up alone in bed. She had felt Sandy kiss her cheek when he left to go surfing but she hated the feeling of waking up alone. She knew if she rolled over that he'd climb into bed with her when he returned but she was too restless to wait. 

He'd told her about Ryan's 'breakthrough' the night before. Sandy considered Ryan's midnight confession as a sign that he was gaining Ryan's trust. He hadn't been this excited since Seth had asked him to go to the IMAX movie with him a few weeks ago. In Sandy's eyes, Ryan had given him back his son.

Kirsten wasn't as upbeat about the night before. Ryan wasn't like her or anyone she'd ever met. He was guarded, he was jumpy and she knew that he took things more seriously than other kids. He was hurting. He was confused. He'd never admit to it but he was more upset than she thought her husband realized.

She hadn't known that he talked to his mother and she was pretty upset about it herself. She was proud that he'd gone to Sandy when she'd called the night before but she knew that Dawn would always have a hold on him.

She got out of bed and got dressed. She knew it was too early for Seth but she wanted to be in the kitchen when her boys got up.

She heard murmured voices when she reached the kitchen. Rosa and Ryan were hovered over the stove, cooking. She was surprised to hear Ryan speaking in Spanish as Rosa smiled and flipped the pancakes.

"Morning."

"Hey, Kirsten," Ryan said. His black eye had become even darker overnight and she couldn't stop herself from going to his side and gently touching the bruise.

"Do you want some aspirin?"

"I already took some ibuprofen. It's okay."

"Okay. You're helping Rosa?"

"He had already started when I got here. I'm helping him," Rosa replied.

"You get any sleep?"

"A little," Ryan admitted, sitting down at the counter and letting Rosa take over.

"Good. Yesterday was rough."

He nodded. "And I have a calculus test today, too. I'm going to go get dressed."

"Aren't you going to eat?" She asked.

"I'll get something later. I'm not really hungry. I just needed to do something." He gave her a slight smile and exited the kitchen.

"He hates to eat. He loves to cook but hates to eat," Rosa said quietly.

"He's having a bad day."

"You wouldn't know it to look at him. He seems okay today. Compared to other days," Rosa added. "He's a good boy. Good cook, too."

Kirsten stared after him.

"Maybe you should go talk to him. You never talk to him. He won't bite. He might not talk back, but he won't bite."

Kirsten gave Rosa a grateful smile and went out the doors to the poolhouse.

She knocked softly on the door and heard him call out for her to come in.

"Ryan?"

"Hey. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Can we talk?"

"Already with the talking?" He smiled to show her he was joking.

"Yeah, sorry. Sandy had his turn with you last night and now it's my turn."

Ryan shrugged. "Have at it."

"Sit down." She urged.

He was standing beside the shelves where he kept his clothes. She'd tried to buy him a dresser but he insisted that he had everything he needed.

"I need to get dressed. Give me five minutes and I'll sit down," He said, grabbing clothes and closing the bathroom door.

She glanced around the poolhouse. Seth refused to clean his room or let anyone else clean his room but Ryan kept the poolhouse immaculate. She watched him sometimes through the window while he cleaned. He did his own laundry and she'd seen him changing the sheets regularly. She didn't know how to make him feel like this was his home. Ryan did more housework that she'd ever done.

She saw his backpack tucked in neatly beside the bed and she resisted her impulse to look inside.

They had put him in a house of windows, he deserved a little privacy.

"Okay." He stepped out, dressed in jeans and his trademark wife-beater. He had a shirt draped over his arm. "I'm ready."

His hair was unruly and flattened against his head when he sat down beside her on his bed.

"You look like I'm about to sentence you."

"I'm still getting used to the amount of conversation that has to circulate around here. I mean…I'm just not used to it," He admitted.

"Well, we're getting used to reading your responses better, too. It's tough. Getting to know a brand new teenager when I barely understand the one I already have," She smiled.

He returned her smile, nervously.

"So. Yesterday was hard, I guess."

"Getting to know a grandmother when I didn't know I had one is tough. And an uncle," Ryan sighed. "And then to top it all off, I get a call from my mother. It wasn't one of my best days."

"I guess not."

"I don't really know what you want me to say. I'm trying to…I'm trying to figure out what I should do, Kirsten. How I'm supposed to act…"

"You don't have to act like anything…"

He was clearly trying to put his thoughts into words. "What I mean is…it's hard for me to just believe that she doesn't want anything from me. I mean…why is she going to all this trouble?"

"You're family."

"I guess…I guess I'm not used to it meaning what it means here. Dawn would only throw the 'family' word out if she needed something…and Trey…"

"What about Trey?"

Ryan sighed.

"I get the feeling that something happened between you guys that you don't want to talk about. You…you went to see him for Thanksgiving…didn't you guys have a good visit?" She watched him for a reaction.

She wasn't ignorant; she'd begged Sandy to push him for information after his trip to Chino on Thanksgiving when he returned with a black eye. Sandy had insisted that it was nothing and that Ryan would tell them when he was ready.

Ryan's face flashed with emotion but he didn't speak right away. Finally, he answered. "We had a fine visit. We just decided that it would be better for us if we didn't talk anymore."

"Ever?"

"Well…yeah."

She waited but he didn't continue. "Why?"

He sighed and ran his hand across his face. "Because. He only called because he needed something. I…I don't want to be his little errand boy anymore."

Her parental alarms went off full force. "What exactly did he need?"

"Kirsten…"

"Please."

He was clearly upset by her plea. No matter how closed off he was, he always gave in to her pleas. It made her wonder how much his mother manipulated him by making him feel guilty. She never wanted to do that to him. "Ryan, I would like to know."

"No, you wouldn't. It…it was stupid and…and you wouldn't understand."

"Try me. I've bailed Hailey out enough times to know that shit happens," She smiled weakly.

He let out a nervous breath. "He owed some people money. So I paid his debt."

"How'd you pay it, I mean…"

"I…I can't tell you," He whispered.

"Why not?"

"Because. It wasn't legal," He said quietly.

"Oh. Did you…"

"I know that it was stupid but…things…they would've killed him. It wasn't a matter of choice. I shouldn't have gone but…if I hadn't done it and he had gotten hurt…"

"Oh. Ryan, it's okay, you're not in trouble but…" She stammered. She hadn't expected his confession.

"So I did what he needed and I told him that I couldn't do it again. I told him that it was the last time. I…I have a different life here, I can't take risks like that anymore. I…I have too much to lose now. If I had gotten arrested or hurt…"

"You did get hurt…"

"I could've gotten hurt a lot worse. I'm sorry, Kirsten…"

"I know. It's clear to me, and Sandy, that you're trying to change your life. It's not going to be a single step, Ryan, it's going to be a long process. I'm sorry that you had to make that decision about your brother, I wish…I wish that you had a family that you could depend on…"

"I'd like to think I do have a family I can depend on," He said quietly. She put an arm around his shoulders.

"You do. You do now."

"Ryan, Rosa's making pancakes, are you…" Seth walked into the poolhouse.

"I'm ready, Seth. Your mother was just talking to me."

"Mom, it's entirely too early for deep conversation," Seth said, flopping down in the chair.

"Sorry. You guys are coming in to eat, right?" Kirsten stood up.

"Shortly," Seth nodded. He was looking at the two of them, finally sensing the tension. "If you need a few more minutes…"

"I think we're done. I'll see you guys inside."

Ryan let out a deep sigh of relief once she was gone.

"What's going on? Why's she all parental so early?"

"Sandy's going to kick my ass…" Ryan whispered.

"Why? What happened?"

"I'm so retarded," Ryan muttered. "She started asking me about Thanksgiving and, like a dumbass, I told her…"

"You told Mom what happened at Thanksgiving but you won't tell me?"

"I…"

"Come on, man. You went to see your brother and you came back with a black eye and told me that you didn't have a brother anymore. Something huge went down and you're lucky that it took this long to come out. So spill."

"Seth…"

"Come on, man."

Ryan sighed. "You guys just pick and pick until you get what you want…"

"We don't have to pick and pick with anyone else, you're just a mute. So talk, Ryan. If mom knows, then she's going to tell Dad. Don't you want me to have your back?"

Ryan threw up his hands and stretched out on his bed.

"Ryan?"

"He owed this punk some money and they were beating the hell out of him on a regular basis. He needed me to pay his debt."

"Okay…"

"So I had to take this stolen car to this guy…"

"Whoa. Stop. Ryan…"

"I know, I know…"

"You could've been arrested, you would've been sent back to juvie…" Seth started, pale.

"Seth. I know. It was stupid…"

"It was monumentally stupid, Ryan…"

"I can't explain it to you, that's why I never told you. They were going to kill him. Kill him, Seth. Jail's not like Newport, they don't play games, it's serious. I couldn't just walk away, I had to do what I had to do. I wouldn't have gone if I had known that he…"

"You knew…shit, you told me before you went that he only wanted something from you…"

"Let's just drop it. You were right, it's too early for deep conversation…" Ryan stood up, abruptly.

"Dude…"

"It's over. It's over. I told Trey that I wouldn't do any more favors for him and I cut my ties. Now, if I can just do the same with my mother, then…then it'll all be fine. Let's go have pancakes." Ryan slammed the door as he walked out with his backpack.

* * *

Ryan left early for school, taking his bike instead of waiting for a ride from Summer. He ran into Luke on the front steps of the school. 

"What's up, man. You still look grouchy."

"Yeah. I'm just a little overloaded right now," Ryan said, sitting down beside him.

"I know the feeling. My dad introduced me to his new 'boyfriend' last night."

"Damn," Ryan whispered.

"So. You want to get out of here?"

"God, the Cohens would kill me if I cut school again…"

"So? Come on, man, if you sit in class all day then you'll just wind yourself up tighter. Let's get out of here."

Ryan hesitated.

"Please. I cut with you yesterday and you owe me after punching me for no good reason…" Luke urged.

"I'm already in trouble up to my ass, they're watching me like a hawk…"

"You're such a punk, Chino…" Luke snapped.

"Maybe, but I can't risk pissing off the Cohens like that. I'm always on the edge of getting sent back," Ryan replied quietly. "I want to go with you. But shit's pretty tense right now."

Luke relaxed. "You're right."

"How about after I fail my calc test, I get sick?"

"We do have gym third period. Coach won't call our folks and he'll cover with the teachers," Luke acknowledged.

Ryan slapped his hand. "Deal?"

"Yeah. Good plan."

* * *

Luke's cellular phone rang around noon. He recognized Seth's number and handed the phone to Ryan. 

"Yeah?"

"Where the hell are you?"

"Seth…"

"Seriously."

"With Luke. At the beach."

"Dad is so pissed. Like ballistic."

"How does Sandy know?"

"Dr. Kim cornered me looking for you, said you were missing. Mom and Dad just freaked, they said you might be going to your Mom…"

"Oh fuck. I'm with Luke at the beach, we conned Coach Baker..." Ryan realized what it might look like to Sandy and Kirsten in their overexcited parental mode.

"Well, Dad's on his way to school and Mom's already in the office. What do you want me to do?"

"Fuck…can you tell them I'll be right there? Tell them that I'm not in Chino, I'm on my way there. Fuck."

"Dude, are you okay?"

"Not now. I'll see you in a few minutes." Ryan closed the phone.

"Busted?" Luke asked.

"Yeah. Can you give me a ride close to school? The Cohens are freaked out…" Ryan started.

"No problem."

Luke's phone rang as they started gathering their things. "Hello?" He immediately passed the phone to Ryan.

"Yeah?"

"Ryan. Tell Luke to take you home. Now. Kirsten and I will deal with Dr. Kim. Go home and stay there."

"Sandy…"

"Go home. Sit down in the kitchen and don't move."

"Okay." Ryan was surprised when Sandy hung up on him.

"Damn," Luke muttered.

"Yeah."

* * *

As soon as Luke dropped Ryan off, he dropped his bags in the poolhouse and stepped out onto the patio and lit a cigarette. 

He'd had a few beers with Luke at the beach but he wasn't relaxed.

"Ryan."

He dropped the cigarette abruptly but Kirsten had already spotted it.

"I'd ask if you were okay but it's obvious that you're fine and even if you weren't, I'd have no idea because you're totally unpredictable in your behavior."

He didn't speak.

"We…I thought you'd gone to see your mother…"

"I wouldn't…" He protested, not wanting to see the hurt in her eyes.

"Yes, you would. She's your mother and no matter what you'd go. Your loyalty is one of the reasons I love you so much. But…I don't understand what you're doing…"

"I just couldn't sit at school when I can't focus on anything except all this stuff…I needed some space…"

"Ryan…"

"It's so heavy here…all the talking and the feeling…I just needed little while to myself…"

"Were you drinking?"

"A little. I'm sorry."

She put her hand on his shoulder and he flinched but she pulled him into a hug.

"I was worried."

"I'm sorry," He said.

"You were just doing normal teenage things and we panicked. But you can't afford to cut class or get busted drinking. You know that, right?"

"I know…"

"You're grounded. I'll bring you out some lunch and believe me, Sandy is going to have a long talk with you when he gets home."

Ryan was surprised at her kindness. "That…that's it?"

"I'm the good cop today. Don't worry, though, Sandy's on his way," She smiled. "And the smoking…we'll talk about it later."

* * *

Sandy and Kirsten were in the kitchen when Ryan came inside later that night. They'd both talked to him and grounded him but they both knew that this was something different. His blue eyes were dark with emotion and they recognized the tenseness in his jaw as another sign that he was upset. 

Sandy spoke before Ryan did. "What's wrong? Did she call?"

"Can you…will you take me to see her?" Ryan asked, breathing the words. "She…I need to go."

Sandy glanced at Kirsten. She nodded. "Call me as soon as you get there."

Sandy let Ryan drive, knowing that he knew where he was going and he didn't mind the silence. Ryan grew tenser the closer that he got to Chino. Finally, 45 minutes after Ryan's plea, Ryan stopped the Range Rover outside a decrepit apartment complex.

"I don't want you to come upstairs but I don't want to leave you out here," Ryan said. He was shaking when he released the steering wheel.

"I'm not letting you go in alone. Come on."

Ryan led Sandy into the building. Sandy was startled at the poor condition of the building. Drug paraphernalia and homeless people are scattered in the halls.

Ryan stopped outside number 11 and knocked. After there was no answer, he knocked again.

"Ryan…" Sandy started.

Ryan pushed open the door, finding it unlocked. He stepped inside.

The apartment was disgusting with trash and dirty clothes scattered everywhere.

Ryan maneuvered the apartment, searching for him mother. Sandy stayed by the door as Ryan went into the back.

He hoped that this wasn't how Ryan grew up. He hoped this wasn't how Dawn lived her life. He couldn't imagine anyone living this way.

He heard Ryan gasp and was immediately alert.

"I told you I was coming…Mom…" Ryan's voice was a whisper but Sandy followed it to the bedroom. He stepped inside.

Ryan was crouched beside a disheveled bed. Dawn was lying on the blankets with a belt still tied around her thin arm. Her skin was blue. Sandy could tell that she was dead. He pulled out his phone and dialed 911. He went to Ryan's side but he didn't look at Dawn's dead, vacant eyes.

"I came, Mom…why would you…you know I'd come…" Ryan murmured, tears streaming down his face as he kneeled beside her body.

Sandy quietly spoke into the phone, giving directions and basic information before hanging up. He put his hand on Ryan's shoulder. "Ryan, come on…let's step outside…"

Ryan shook his head.

"Ryan, you shouldn't be here…"

Ryan shuddered. He stood up and leaned against Sandy's steadying arm. He reached over closed his mother's eyes with a shaking hand. He turned and walked out of the room with Sandy close beside him.

Ryan went towards the front door but stopped and turned around, suddenly panicked. "Sandy, should we try CPR, I mean, she's cold but maybe…"

"No, Ryan, I'm sorry," Sandy said quietly. He put his hands on the boy's shoulders to steady him as they heard the first sirens. "Ryan, I want you to breathe, okay? Look at me…"

Ryan met his gaze and visibly took a breath but was still shaking and breathing rapidly.

"Deep breaths, okay?"

Ryan nodded. He took a few steps back and leaned against the wall. He didn't react to the knock on the door. Sandy let the EMTs and police officers in and kept watching Ryan in his peripheral vision while he explained the situation.

Ryan seemed to deflate and slowly slid down the wall to sit on the floor.

"Can I get him out of here?" Sandy asked the officer. The officer spoke to one of the medics that had come to stand beside them while the other medic examined Dawn's body. The medic went to Ryan's side.

Ryan let the man lead him out of the apartment and down to the street. He walked away from the man and sat down on the curb.

* * *

Sandy walked down with the officers after completing the reports and making arrangements for Dawn's body. He wanted to be with Ryan, he was worried, but he had to be the grown up. 

Ryan was sitting on the curb in front of the Range Rover with a cigarette in his mouth. Sandy went to his side.

"Ryan, are you all right?"

Ryan glanced at him and Sandy knew that he wasn't. Smoke drifted from his nostrils as he lowered his gaze immediately.

"Let's go home, okay?" Sandy offered his hand and helped Ryan to his feet.

"Is…" Ryan started.

"I handled it. They'll take good care of her."

Ryan nodded. His gaze flickered behind Sandy. Sandy turned and saw a tall bulky man approaching.

"A.J," Ryan murmured.

The man's face registered confusion and anger as he recognized Ryan. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

Sandy put his hand on Ryan's arm to keep him close and out of A.J's reach. He also wanted to keep Ryan from attacking the man.

"She called me," Ryan said quietly. Sandy realized that Ryan was keeping his eyes lowered and humble. He'd never seen anyone have such a visible effect on Ryan.

"Stupid bitch…" A.J muttered.

"She's dead." Ryan didn't flinch. He was frozen in his spot. Sandy tightened his grip.

"What?" A.J's face softened slightly.

Ryan's eyes flickered to the ambulance then toward the assembling policemen that had approached after hearing A.J's greeting. A.J. could read his expressions and his face immediately flashed with rage.

"What the fuck happened?" A.J. demanded, taking several steps toward Ryan and Sandy.

Ryan didn't move but he spoke quietly to Sandy. "If he touches you, I'll fucking kill him…"

The cops stepped in before AJ reached Ryan or Sandy and pulled him away.

"Let's go, Ryan," Sandy said, releasing his arm after a long moment.

"Go," Ryan repeated blankly.

"Let's go home, okay?"

Ryan nodded and stepped over to the passenger door of the Range Rover.

* * *

Kirsten and Seth were in the kitchen when Sandy brought Ryan inside. It was almost four a.m. but they were both drinking coffee. 

"Hey. You didn't call and it's been hours…" Kirsten began.

Seth was looking at Ryan. Seth stood up and went to Ryan's side.

"What happened? Did she do something to you?" Seth asked him. Ryan opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Seth knew him well enough to read him, though. "She's dead?"

Ryan nodded and Kirsten gasped.

"Dude, that sucks, I am so sorry…" Seth whispered.

Ryan stepped between Seth and Sandy and stepped out onto the patio.

"Sandy, what happened?" Kirsten asked as Seth followed Ryan outside.

"She was dead when we got there. She overdosed. He found her…he's so upset…" Sandy said as she embraced him.

"But she called him," Kirsten whispered.

Seth stepped in. "So, Ryan's pretty upset but I managed to get him to say a few sentences. He says that you should call Grace…"

"Does he want to see her?" Kirsten asked, surprised.

"He doesn't want to see anyone. He just thinks that she'd want to know," Seth replied. "He also…he wants to go see Trey tomorrow."

"It's too soon for him to worry about that, tell him that we'll take care of it…"

"She's his mom," Seth replied quietly. "Trey's his brother…he wants to be the one to tell him."

"Seth…"

"He says I can stay with him as long as I don't make him talk so I'm going to stay with him."

"Is he…"

"He's upset, Mom, but he's okay. I'll call you if I need you."


	5. Five

**_AN: I promise I'm still working on my other stories but I have to write what comes to me. Hope this chapter lives up to expectation. Thanks for all the patient readers. _**

----------

Grace and Kirsten were in the living room the next morning and Graham was with Sandy in the kitchen.

"We saw her yesterday. She was messed up," Graham said quietly. "But she said that she was glad to see us, that she'd see us again today…"

"Dawn…I think she was sick…"

"So, she called the kid and…" Graham started.

"And she was dead when we got there," Sandy finished.

"Has he said anything?"

"Seth hasn't come in yet. It's taken all my self control not to burst in there but…Ryan's trust is so tenuous and I have to trust him back. He's a strong kid."

Graham glanced at him. "You don't think he's dangerously introverted?"

"No. You haven't seen him with Seth, my son. They balance each other out," Sandy replied. "Here they come now."

Seth and Ryan stepped into the kitchen. Seth was yawning as he went to the coffeepot and prepared two steaming mugs.

"Morning, guys," Sandy said. Seth sat down beside Ryan at the counter and they each took a swallow of coffee before acknowledging him with a nod.

"You guys get any sleep?" Sandy asked.

"He snores," They both said in unison.

"That was totally not me…" Seth muttered.

"Then there's a monster in the poolhouse," Ryan remarked quietly. He registered Graham's presence and nodded to him.

"How're you doing, kid?" Graham asked.

"Okay," He murmured, shaking his hand.

"Seth, this is Graham Thompson," Sandy introduced.

"Ah, the uncle. Nice to meet you," Seth said, shaking his hand as well.

Ryan smiled slightly.

"Hungry?" Sandy asked.

"Coffee first," Seth said with a yawn. He was pouring sugar into his cup.

"Ryan, you didn't eat any dinner…" Sandy continued, looking at him with concern.

He waved his hand noncommittally and muttered something that only Seth could hear.

"He's not hungry," Seth said after Ryan didn't repeat it.

"You have to eat something," Sandy directed at Ryan.

"He says if you make him eat, he'll throw up," Seth added after getting a slight glance from Ryan.

"You always let him do the talking for you?" Graham asked, amused.

"He's better at it," Ryan muttered.

"Grace is in the living room. Maybe you should go say hello," Sandy suggested.

Ryan nodded and got up immediately.

"God, Dad, you didn't let him finish his coffee."

"How is he doing, Seth?" Sandy asked quietly. Seth glanced at Graham who politely followed Ryan into the living room.

"He's okay," Seth started immediately. "He didn't sleep, like, at all, but he's much better today than he was last night. I mean…I've never seen him cry but he was fucking sobbing last night…"

"Why didn't you come and get me?"

"I didn't know what to do…I just helped him to the bathroom and when he came out he was okay. He didn't want you guys to see him like that…" Seth replied. "Are you sure it's a good idea to throw his grandma and uncle at him today?"

"I don't know. I called them this morning and told them what happened and they asked if they could come over…we couldn't exactly turn them away…"

"It's cool. Ryan…he's pretty cold today. He hasn't really said much since he woke up…" Seth replied quietly. "I think he's going to just shut down until all the hard stuff is over. He gets this look in his eye like he's not really listening, like he's just filing everything away for later."

In the living room, Ryan sat down beside Kirsten on the loveseat across from Grace.

Grace's makeup was smeared from where she'd been crying. "Ryan, I'm so sorry about your mother…"

"Yeah, me, too," Ryan said quietly. "But…but at least now she has a chance to be at peace."

Grace looked at him silently, startled by his calm voice.

"Mom…she always had a rough time. That's why she used the drugs so much…they were the only thing that made her happy. She needed them…more than she needed me or you or anyone," He continued quietly. "At least now, she can get the peace she deserves."

"Ryan…I hope that you and I can still have a relationship…even though Dawn's gone…if I hadn't run into you, I wouldn't have gotten to see her for…for the last time." Graham entered and sat down beside his mother.

Ryan glanced at Kirsten and she put a hand on his arm.

"Sure," He replied quietly.

"You okay, honey?" Kirsten whispered.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm okay. Last night…it was really hard. But it's over and now we just have to put her to rest. I'm going to go finish my coffee." He stood up and walked out of the room.

"Is he okay?" Grace asked. They could all sense the strangeness of Ryan's speech.

"He'll be okay," Kirsten said. She got up and followed him into the kitchen.

"Sandy, can I go see Trey?" Ryan asked quietly.

Sandy accepted Kirsten's arm around him. "You sure that you're ready for that?"

"I need to see him," Ryan replied.

"You don't look like you got any sleep…" Kirsten started.

"I just need to do this so it's done. I'll sleep after it's done. Please. Can I go see my brother?" Ryan didn't meet their worried gazes.

"You're not going alone. One of us will go with you, okay?"

"Fine. Whatever. I'm going to go get dressed." He hurried out of the house.

"Who's going to go?" Seth asked. "Can I go?"

"I think it might be better if one of us went with him…considering what happened last time…" Kirsten replied.

"Wait. He told you what happened?" Sandy asked immediately.

"Uh oh. You didn't tell Dad?" Seth asked his mother.

"There hasn't really been any time," Kirsten replied.

"There's time now."

"I'm staying out of this. I'm going to go help Ryan," Seth said, following his friend out.

"Kirsten…"

"Trey owed people money. He asked Ryan to do something illegal to pay the debt. He said they were going to kill him, Trey, I mean. So he did it. Then they mutually agreed to not see each other anymore. That's it," Kirsten said quickly.

"That's it? What did he do?"

"I didn't press him. But it seems like Seth squeezed it out of him, too. He probably knows more than I did. He didn't know when he went, Sandy…but could you imagine how guilty he would feel if he hadn't helped his brother?"

"Probably as guilty as he does for not saving his mother. I'll take him," Sandy said quietly.

"Are you angry at him, Sandy?"

"No. I'm not angry. I'm worried. I'm worried that he's never going to be able to shake what his family did to him. I'm worried that he's going to let Dawn's death eat him alive. I'm worried as hell, Kirsten. I'm not angry, I'm concerned," Sandy replied.

"Don't be too hard on him. Maybe Seth should go with you…"

"We'll leave it up to Ryan," Sandy sighed.

----------

Sandy parked the Range Rover outside the jail and turned to look at his son. Seth was sleeping soundly in the passenger seat. Ryan glanced up at him from the backseat.

"I'm not letting you go in to see him alone, Ryan. I know you want your privacy but Kirsten…she told me what happened last time and I'm not going to let you talk to him alone," Sandy said quietly.

Ryan had barely spoken on the drive to Chino except when prompted by Seth. He nodded in response to Sandy.

"Are you mad at me or something? Have I done something to you?"

"No, Sandy. I just…I don't feel like talking. I…I'm not mad," He replied quietly.

Sandy regretted his question, seeing the hurt expression on his foster son's face. Ryan stepped out before he could apologize. Sandy gently woke Seth.

Seth yawned. "We're here already?"

"Mind waiting in the car?" Sandy asked.

Seth glanced through the window to see if Ryan approved but his friend was looking at the sidewalk. "I guess. Can I run the air conditioner?"

"Sure. No joyriding. We'll be back, Seth." Sandy was relieved that his son didn't argue. He closed the door and watched as Seth immediately climbed into the driver's seat so he could have easy access to the locks and stereo.

Ryan didn't speak again but he didn't pull away when Sandy put his hand on his shoulder. "Hey, kid. You can talk to me, you know."

"I know. Let's do this," Ryan muttered. He led the way into the visitors' entrance.

Several minutes later, Ryan and Sandy were seated in the visitor's area in the prison. The guard had notified them that Trey would see him and they were waiting for him to be escorted in.

"Ryan…"

"God, Sandy, can't you just let me be quiet for a while? Does every second of silence have to be filled by stupid conversation?" Ryan snapped.

"No. I was going to say that I'll be right here if you need me," Sandy said quietly.

"Sorry," He sighed, covering his face.

"It's okay."

"There's Trey," Ryan nodded. He stood up to greet his brother. Trey gave him a loose hug before obeying the guard and sitting down across from him.

"Trey, this is Sandy Cohen."

"The lawyer. You give my baby brother that black eye?" Trey was staring down Sandy.

"Sandy's not like that. I got into a fight with a friend."

"Some friend," Trey muttered. "I thought you were making better friends out in Newport."

"How're you doing?"

"Okay. What's up? I thought we had finished things," Trey said. Sandy was studying him. He recognized Ryan's familiar coldness but he could see in Trey's eyes that he was desperate to be close to Ryan. Trey clearly loved his little brother.

"I have some news," Ryan said.

"What's up? You look like somebody died," Trey muttered. When Ryan didn't respond, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and shook out two, letting one of them roll across the table to Ryan.

Ryan glanced at Sandy and lit it with one of Trey's matches. He inhaled deeply.

"Now. What happened?" Trey asked quietly.

Sandy was studying Trey's quiet manipulation of Ryan in order to get him to talk. He seemed patient and willing to wait for his younger brother to speak.

"Mom's dead."

Trey recoiled. "What?"

"She o.d.'d last night."

"What? Are you fucking serious? Are you sure?"

"I found her…"

"What the hell were you doing there?" Trey turned his attention to Sandy. "You let him go see her?"

"She called me. She wanted me to go see her. Sandy took me."

Trey's gaze flickered between Ryan and Sandy. "Okay. So, what happened? You said she called you?"

"She called me. Asked me to come see her. I told her I was coming, she knew I was coming…but she was dead when we got there."

"Fuck…what a bitch…"

Ryan lowered his gaze.

"Sorry, Ry…" Trey apologized immediately. Ryan inhaled deeply off his cigarette.

"There's this lady, Grace Thompson, who showed up a few nights ago. Says she's Dawn's mother. She's got pictures and…and her story checks out."

"Dawn's got a mother? Where the hell did that come from?"

"Boston, apparently," Ryan muttered.

"You believe her?" Trey asked, pushing his brother for more information.

"Yeah. I do. She says that Dawn ran away when she was fifteen."

"How'd she find you?"

"She was at one of Kirsten's Newport things. She recognized me. She wants to see you, if you want."

"Why?"

Ryan glanced at Sandy for assistance. Sandy cleared his throat. "She doesn't appear to want anything except a relationship with her grandchildren. She has money, she has family, two sons, but she would like to get to know you."

"He making you see her?" Trey asked Ryan.

"Sandy doesn't make me do anything. He asked me what I wanted to do and I thought about it. It's not her fault that Dawn ditched her, too," Ryan replied.

Trey nodded.

"So…that's the news," Ryan sighed.

"Can you give me a few minutes with my little brother, man?" Trey asked. Sandy glanced at Ryan and waited for his slight nod before getting up and moving to stand beside the guard at the door.

"What's up?" Ryan asked.

"How're you really doing? I know how you felt about Mom shooting up," Trey whispered.

"I haven't seen her since…since the last time she left me at the Cohens. She was sick, Trey, and I didn't even go to her…"

"Mom's always been sick, she's always had problems, you couldn't help her…"

"She's been calling me. When the Cohens found out, they freaked. I don't know how she got the number…"

"Shit," Trey muttered, leaning back.

"Trey…you gave her my number?"

"I…I wasn't thinking. I've only talked to her once since Thanksgiving and she asked…she asked for your number. I gave it to her. You always loved Mom, I thought…I thought maybe it'd be good for you to talk to her. I'm so sorry, man."

"It's okay. At least now I know where she got the number."

Trey sighed. "I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry I'm stuck in here and can't…"

"If you want to come to the funeral, Sandy says that he can arrange it."

"I'd like that, Ry. You sure you want my jumpsuit-ass standing beside you?" Trey asked.

"Shit, Trey, you're, like, my only family now. Besides Dad and this random Grace lady."

"That lawyer's sure watching you close," Trey cast a glance towards Sandy.

"Sandy…his family's really good to me, Trey."

"Good. I'm glad. Despite the black eye, you look good, man."

"Thanks. You getting along okay in here? Honestly?"

"Gattas' guys have been leaving me alone. Hey, I even got my GED certificate."

"Really? That's awesome, man."

"I barely passed. You got all the smarts, kid. I just got the shit…"

"Stop it, Trey."

"You're going to be okay, Ryan. Mom…she's better off. At least now, she's out of your life, you know?"

"I know. But it still sucks."

"She…she wasn't a good mom. But she was the only one we had. Hell, you turned out okay, not for lack of trying, though," Trey teased.

"Fuck you," Ryan laughed, relaxing for the first time.

"So, you brought a chaperone this time?"

"Shit, Trey, last time I came to see you I came home with a black eye and bruised ribs. You're not exactly high on their _trust_ list," Ryan replied.

Trey nodded. "So, who gave you this black eye again?"

"I get stressed out, I punch people. This is one of my friends that has the same issue. Name's Luke. We used to hate each other's guts but now we're cool. Long story."

"I'd like to hear it sometime. Maybe…if your warden approves, you can come see me again? Like, with better news?"

"We'll see," Ryan said, his mood darkening again.

"What?"

"You think I should call Dad? I mean, technically, they're still married."

Trey was pensive. "What about AJ?"

"He's still around. But…I mean, Dad might get pissed if we don't tell him."

"Yeah. You want me to call him?"

"I'll do it…"

"I don't think that's such a good idea. You and Dad didn't exactly part on good terms," Trey said, waving Sandy back to the table.

Sandy was clearly relieved to be recalled to the table.

"Mr. Cohen, I appreciate you bringing Ryan to see me," Trey said quietly. He had lowered his voice and was keeping his gaze submissive. Sandy was startled to see the respect in the man's eyes. "I also appreciate that you're taking good care of the little punk."

"Well, we're working on the 'punk' part," Sandy smiled.

"Don't let him call Dad. I'll call him, or you can call him. But he's got enough on his plate already without dragging good old Dad into the mix. I don't care what he says, don't let him talk to Dad."

"Trey…"

Trey raised his hand and Ryan immediately stopped speaking, relenting with a sigh. "I'd ask you to promise not to call him but I know that you'd lie to me and call him anyway. So I'll go to the man with the reins."

"Whatever," Ryan muttered.

"I'll contact your father, Trey," Sandy nodded, startled that he hadn't thought about contacting the man earlier.

"Thank you."

"You said that you could help get Trey out for the funeral?"

"I can make some calls. I'll do my best," Sandy nodded. He offered Trey his card. "Call me if you don't hear anything by tomorrow."

"You want me to talk to this Grace lady?" Trey asked Ryan.

"It's up to you, man. But she'd like to meet you. She's not so bad," Ryan shrugged.

"All right. I'll think about it," Trey acknowledged.

"Well, we better get out of here before Seth melts in the car," Ryan said quietly.

"I'll call you as soon as I talk to your warden, okay?" Sandy shook Trey's hand.

"Thanks." Trey gives Ryan a hearty hug. "Take care, man. Don't let this keep you down, okay?"

Ryan gave him a tense nod as he went to the door.

Trey stopped Sandy. "Keep an eye on him, Mr. Cohen. He…he really loved his mom. He's…he's not really himself today, you know?"

"We're keeping an eye on him. Thanks, Trey. I think it helped for him to talk to you." Sandy shook his hand again and then followed Ryan out of the visitor's room.

Ryan had paused immediately outside of the prison.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Okay," Ryan nodded. He made no attempt to continue walking.

"Let's get out of here, kid," Sandy said finally, putting his hand on Ryan's back and urging him toward the car.

Ryan followed him silently. They could hear the music pulsing from inside the Range Rover as soon as it came into sight.

"If I have to replace those speakers again, Kirsten's going to kill me," Sandy muttered.

----------

"So, dude, are you going to be silent all the way back home? I get no juicy tidbits of your visit with your brother?" Seth said when they were about twenty minutes from home. He couldn't take the silence of the SUV any longer without talking. He'd tried it but he was dying from the silence.

"He's good."

"He didn't ask you for any illegal debt-consolidations or anything?" Seth probed.

"No."

Sandy glanced at Seth.

"Okay, so, care to fill in any more details?"

"He got his GED. That's good. He wants to come to the funeral."

"Oh. Can he do that?"

"Guards can escort him to the funeral, if his warden approves," Sandy answered quietly.

The SUV lapsed back into silence.

"So. Sandy probably wants to know why Trey doesn't want me to call my dad. Since there are no secrets at your house, I probably need to give him an explanation," Ryan stated slowly.

Seth opened his mouth to speak but stopped once he saw his father's warning glare.

"It's up to you, Ryan. I don't want to press you to talk about anything you aren't comfortable talking about," Sandy replied evenly.

"Dad, sort of, hates me. The night he got busted, I was supposed to go with him to the store. We got into an argument on the way and I wouldn't go. He put me out of the car on the way to the store and I walked home. He never got to come home again," Ryan said quietly.

"Oh. What did he want you to go with him for?" Seth asked.

"He needed me to drive," Ryan murmured.

"You…you couldn't have even had a license then…" Seth stammered.

"Doesn't mean I couldn't drive," He replied.

"Your father's arrest has nothing to do with you. He chose to rob that store. It wouldn't have made a difference if you went with him or not…" Sandy attempted.

"Usually Trey went with him but Trey…he couldn't that night," Ryan said.

"Why?"

"He had a broken arm. Dad didn't trust him to drive. It was my turn. Dad never really got over it. Trey's right. I shouldn't be the one to call him."

"Why do you have to call him?" Seth asked.

"Because. He might care," Ryan sighed.

"I'll get the message to him. Is he still…was he still married to Dawn?"

"I don't know. She kept filing the papers, but I don't think she ever got totally divorced," Ryan replied. "He could already know. I doubt AJ would've called him, though."

Seth watched his father tense up at Ryan's mention of A.J's name. "This AJ guy…he's your mom's boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

Seth swiveled in his seat again. "Where was he when your mom…"

"Seth. Drop it," Sandy said suddenly.

"Oh. Okay," Seth responded.

"Its okay, Sandy. AJ showed up right as we were leaving, Seth."

"So…so you saw him?"

Ryan nodded.

Seth turned his attention to his father. "You met him?"

"We didn't meet. We just saw each other."

"He won't be at the funeral," Ryan said quietly.

"How do you know?" Sandy asked immediately.

"Because. AJ doesn't believe in stuff like that. His wife and brother were both killed while he was living with us and he didn't go. He won't come to Dawn's funeral, either," Ryan replied.

"I'm going to make sure of that," Sandy muttered.

"Dad…"

Sandy glared at Seth again who immediately shut up.

"If…if Dad is still married to Dawn…he can come to the funeral, too, right?" Ryan asked quietly.

"Possibly. Do you think he'll want to?" Sandy glanced in the rear view mirror to gauge Ryan's reaction.

"I don't know. But if he comes…can you just let me know what happens when you talk to him?"

"Of course, Ryan," Sandy agreed.

They all seemed to welcome the silence when it descended again.

----------


	6. Six

----------

"Ryan…" Sandy started once he'd parked in the driveway.

"I'm going to go to the poolhouse. I didn't get much sleep last night," Ryan said immediately, bolting across the driveway and around the house.

"I think I'm going to leave him alone on this one," Seth said quietly.

"You think he's okay?"

"He'll be okay, Dad," Seth nodded.

"We'll check on him if he doesn't come out in a few hours."

"You going to call his dad?"

"Yeah."

"If he wants to come…you think Ryan will go to the service?"

"I'm playing it by ear, Seth. Come on," Sandy led him inside.

----------

Sandy was worried when Ryan didn't come inside for dinner. He'd spoken with Ryan's father and had been very surprised by the man. He wanted to tell Ryan, but he hated disturbing him if he was sleeping. But the kid deserved to know.

Sandy knocked quietly on the poolhouse door but there was no response. He stepped inside and saw Ryan lying on top of his made bed with his eyes closed.

"Ryan?"

Ryan didn't respond. Sandy studied him.

"Pretending to sleep?"

Ryan let out a long sigh. "I'm trying to sleep."

"You didn't eat anything for dinner."

"I'm not hungry."

"I'm not caring. You need to eat something. Can we talk first?"

Ryan sat up. "Yeah. What's up?"

"I spoke with your father."

Ryan's face didn't change, he kept it blank and stony.

"He'd like to come to the service."

"Why?"

Sandy was startled for a moment but thought about the question and all the untold history of Ryan's family that he didn't know. "He's found religion."

"What?" Ryan asked, startled.

"He'd like to see you, Ryan. He says that he's been born again, that he's different now and…" Sandy stated slowly. "He really wants to see you."

Ryan stood up. "I need a minute…" He whispered, pacing in a tight circle as he looked for the closest exit.

"Ryan…"

"Just a minute…" He disappeared through the glass doors before Sandy could stop him.

Sandy waited for a long moment before stepping out and looking around. He spotted a cloud of smoke several yards from the poolhouse in the hidden area where the air conditioner was stored. He walked slowly and found Ryan crouched beside the wall, breathing shallowly while taking a drag off the cigarette.

"Ryan…"

"I don't want to call you a liar, but…did he really say that? All that…what you said…"

"Yes, Ryan. He did."

Ryan shook his head in shock. "He…shit. I don't know what to do…"

"Ryan…" Sandy sat down beside him and didn't mention the cigarette. He wondered where he kept getting them from. "Ryan, I don't know anything about your relationship with your father…but I do know that you have a lot to deal with right now…"

"I just…I can't believe that he said he wanted to see me. I…I don't want to see him, Sandy. I mean…it was different with Mom…she needed me, she needed me to help her and take care of her…but Dad…he's…he's in jail because of me…"

"Ryan, you didn't…"

"I know, you're going to say it wasn't my fault, that he put me in a bad position…but doing something like, driving the car for him, it's just like you asking Seth to take out the trash, you know? People have different expectations for their children…" Ryan said, his voice coming out in short bursts.

"I need you to relax. Cigarette or no, you have to slow down and relax, okay?" Sandy was worried that Ryan was going to hyperventilate if he didn't slow down his breathing. He put his hand on Ryan's tense back and finally, the boy seemed to relax slightly and take a deep breath.

"Sorry…"

"It's been a long day. Just relax, okay?" Sandy urged.

Ryan sighed. He took a long drag off his cigarette and then stubbed it out with his shoe. He held out the pack of cigarettes to Sandy.

"Keep them. You're going to have to deal with Kirsten over this from now on, I'm convinced you have an endless supply," Sandy joked.

"I…well, you won't let me punch people anymore, so I need some sort of outlet," Ryan replied with a straight face.

"We'll talk to Kirsten about getting you a punching bag," Sandy teased.

Ryan laughed and Sandy was relieved to see him relaxing.

"So."

"Yeah. This sucks. What's going on with the arrangements?" Ryan asked.

"Well, Grace is a lapsed Catholic, but…"

"Dawn never went to church."

"We're having the service in a small non denominational chapel a few miles from here."

"And my father is definitely coming…"

"Yes, Ryan."

Ryan was silent. He lit a new cigarette.

"Are you…"

"I don't think I'm going to go."

Sandy was silent now.

"I mean…I need to take one thing at a time…and seeing him…I'm just not ready for another family reunion, you know?"

"But…it's your mother's funeral. If you don't go…you might regret it."

"So…you think I should go?"

"It's not about what I think. It's about what you can handle."

Ryan sighed. "I think…I don't know."

"The funerals day after tomorrow."

"Someone should go get her things," Ryan said suddenly.

"Ryan, we'll take care of it…"

"I don't think you should go, AJ's a mean guy…"

"Which is why you aren't going," Sandy replied immediately.

"I don't want some stranger going through her things…"

"We're strangers?"

"You were to Dawn," Ryan replied. "It's something I need to do, Sandy. I need to do it."

"You need to relax. You need to get some sleep and let me take care of things…"

"I'll go to the funeral if you let me go get her things…"

"Ryan, hit pause for a minute, okay? This isn't an argument or a trade-off, it's a conversation. I need you to explain what's going on in your head…"

"I want…"

"Tell me why. Start with why."

"She's dead, Sandy, I'll never get another letter from her, another call, she's just…dead. I'd like to have something to remember her by…AJ will just throw it all out, he doesn't care about that stuff…it's probably already too late, but…"

"Okay, kid. Let me see what I can come up with, I'll talk it over with Kirsten and we'll see what we can figure out."

"Figure out?"

"If you come back from there with even a scratch on you, Kirsten and I will have AJ arrested. I'm serious, Ryan. We don't want you getting…hurt. I, personally, don't want you to go at all."

Ryan sighed. "I can handle AJ."

Sandy raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Ryan asked.

"The first weekend you came to stay here…you had a black eye. Did AJ do that to you?" Sandy asked slowly.

Ryan paused. "Yeah."

"That's why we don't want you to go get your mother's things. In case…that happens again."

"I'll call him. Tell him when I'm coming and make sure he's gone…"

"Ryan. I won't let you go there alone. Under any circumstance, okay?"

Ryan finally nodded. "Okay."

"We'll figure something out, okay? Don't worry."

"But the funeral…"

"If you don't want to go, you won't go. We could take you over before the service…you could have some time…to say goodbye…" Sandy said.

"Is that…you can do that?"

"Of course. But you have time to think about it," Sandy hesitated. "If you want to talk to Trey about it…"

"It's okay."

"Sandy? Ryan? Are you smoking?" Kirsten appeared.

Ryan put the cigarette out immediately. Kirsten smacked Sandy upside the head. "You're letting him smoke?"

"Ow, no…I'm just…" Sandy stammered.

"Here," Ryan held out his pack. Kirsten took it and stuffed it into her pocket. "Sandy already told me."

"Ryan, I know you're upset, but I won't tolerate smoking. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Both of you. Come inside. You need jackets if you're going to sit out here."

----------

"Hey, man. You're gracing us with your presence again?" Seth found Ryan in the kitchen starting at a bowl of dry cereal.

"Yeah."

"Where are Mom and Dad?"

"Talking about my apparent nicotine addiction, among other things," Ryan muttered, waving toward Sandy's study.

"So. What's up?" Seth sat down beside him at the counter.

"Nothing."

"Did Dad talk to your Dad?"

"Yeah, I don't really want to talk about it."

"I figured." Seth paused. "So. What happened?"

"Seth…"

"Come on, man, you have to talk about it. You're my number one pick for spontaneous combustion," Seth joked. "Keeping all that stuff inside can't be good for your health. One day, you're just going to burst into flames…"

"Really."

"Yeah, man, seriously. I saw it on Sci-Fi just the other day…"

"Sci-Fi. As in Science _Fiction_. Yeah."

"Ryan, come on. What happened? Is he coming to the funeral?"

"Yeah. He is."

"Oh." Seth seemed surprised.

"Apparently, he's found Jesus or something."

"He found Jesus? Is Jesus in the prison, too?"

Ryan couldn't stop himself from smiling.

"Ryan, are you going to the funeral?" Seth asked quietly.

"I don't know." He stared at his bowl of cereal.

"What's that for?"

"Your parents say I have to eat something before I leave the house."

Seth glanced at the bowl. "You picked cereal?"

"I'm not hungry. Kirsten put the cereal out," Ryan muttered.

"You are seriously brooding today…"

Ryan pushed the bowl across the counter to Seth. "I'm done. Will you take care of this for me?"

"I'm sorry, man, I didn't mean…"

"You didn't do anything. I'm just…pissy."

"Maybe if you talk about it…"

"I just talked about it with your dad. It didn't help. Maybe talking about stuff helps you, but it isn't helping me…"

"Dude…"

"I'm going to bed." Ryan walked out of the house before Seth could continue.

Sandy and Kirsten stepped in. "What's going on?"

"Ryan's going to bed." Seth picked up a piece of cereal and plopped it in his mouth.

"Is that…" Kirsten pointed to the bowl.

"It's my snack. Ryan's looked so good that I decided to have a bowl myself," Seth lied.

Kirsten narrowed her eyes. "It's in the same bowl."

"Less dishes," Seth responded.

"Sandy," Kirsten jerked the bowl from in front of Seth and turned to her husband. "Take this to Ryan. Tell him that he will _not_ be going to Chino to get his things and he _will_ be eating four square meals from now on. And no smoking."

"I thought we were going to talk about it…"

"He has to eat. We'll get his mother's things, he doesn't have to worry about that and he has to stop acting like a spoiled brat," Kirsten stated seriously.

"Mom? What are you talking about?" Seth asked.

"I'm talking about…"

"You're talking about Ryan. Ryan is not a spoiled brat. Ryan isn't hungry because he just found out that he has a grandmother he never knew about that wants to get all up in his business and before he even dealt with it, his mother died and he had to face his brother and now his father…"

"Seth…" Sandy warned.

"No, Mom's being stupid…"

"Ryan is going through a lot, but he has to eat…" Kirsten snapped.

"He does eat," Seth protested.

"Both of you need to calm down," Sandy said, stepping in between their staring match. "Kirsten, I will talk to Ryan, but I'm not going to be as fierce as you just were." He turned to Seth. "Seth, apologize to your mother, you're not Ryan's lawyer, I am so don't try and defend him because that's my job."

"I'm sorry, Seth…" Kirsten said earnestly.

"I'm sorry, too. What's this about him wanting to go get his mother's things?" Seth asked.

"That's between Ryan and us," Sandy said.

"He's going to tell me anyway. What's up?"

"He wants to go get his mother's things. From Chino."

"From AJ's house…you're not going to let him…"

"Of course not. Ryan will not be going back to that apartment ever again…" Kirsten stated firmly.

"Kirsten. The boy doesn't want AJ to throw away his mother's things. I will go with him…" Sandy began.

"No, you won't. We'll hire someone to go, with a police eHscort if we have to…"

"Kirsten."

"Just go talk to him, Sandy," Kirsten sighed finally.

She sat down beside Seth once Sandy walked out toward the poolhouse. "I'm sorry, Seth. Ryan…he's not a spoiled brat. He's a man in every way but age."

"What about me?" Seth asked, offended.

"You know what I mean. He's…he doesn't act like any kid that I've ever met."

"He does act pretty…old."

"So…when he's smoking and refusing to eat…I guess I forgot that he's just a kid…this is hard for grown up's too."

"He's not like us. He doesn't know how to talk…I don't think his mom or dad ever let him talk. You and Dad are all about the talk…I forget, too, sometimes…that he doesn't talk. You have to listen to him in other ways."

"What?"

"You have to listen to his eyes and his face…the way he breathes."

"I see what you mean," Kirsten smiled.

Sandy returned. "He's asleep. Like, seriously asleep."

"Already?" Seth asked suspiciously.

"Yeah."

"There'll be time tomorrow…" Kirsten nodded.

----------

When Kirsten came down for breakfast, Ryan was making pancakes.

"Morning."

"Hey, Kirsten. I figured since I was AWOL yesterday that I would cook breakfast."

"Where's Rosa?"

"Cleaning the poolhouse," Ryan smiled. "It was the only way I could get her out of the kitchen."

"Can I help?" Kirsten asked.

"Coffee?"

"I make coffee," She laughed, going to work. "How are you doing today?"

"I need to keep busy. I need to eat. I need to pull myself together and stop thinking so much," Ryan said slowly.

"Ryan…I've very sorry about your mother. I don't know if I've told you that."

"I know."

"But I'm glad you weren't there."

"If I'd been there, she wouldn't have died."

"You…it's not your fault, she wasn't your responsibility…"

Ryan turned back to the pancakes. "Let's not talk about this. I mean, it's early and…I just don't want to."

"Okay." She sat down at the counter. "So, are you hungry? You said you needed to eat…"

"I'm a little dizzy. I drank some juice and a bagel…and we're having pancakes." Ryan set a stack of pancakes in front of her.

"Sit down and eat. You can make Sandy and Seth fresh ones. Come on," Kirsten urged.

Ryan turned off the range and sat down. They ate in silence.

"You make it seem so easy," Kirsten smiled.

"What?"

"Cooking."

"Pancakes are simply, you just have to keep your eye on them. I think you're just easily distracted."

"These are good," Kirsten smiled.

"Thanks."

Kirsten watched him eat until he met her gaze with a small smile.

"Sorry. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself," She said.

"What else?" He asked.

"I don't want you to go to Chino."

"Sandy told you," Ryan nodded in understanding.

"That you wanted to go to AJ's for your mother's stuff. I don't want you to go."

"I know. Sandy doesn't either."

"I hear a 'but' coming…"

"I called AJ last night," Ryan admitted.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I had to make sure he hadn't thrown anything out. He…he said he'd wait until I came. I believe him."

"You're still not going."

"This is really important to me," Ryan said.

"Ryan, from what I know, AJ is dangerous…"

"My mother is dead. Trey's in jail, I'm the only connection to her left…I'm her son. I don't want her clothes or the junk, I want the locket that she had of her mother's so I can give it to Grace, I want Trey's first baby tooth…I want the few things that she kept from her past…"

Kirsten was silent.

"I don't have anything from my old life, Kirsten. Nothing. I lived with Dawn 16 years and I have nothing…please."

Kirsten sighed. "I…I understand. But I don't want you going without…"

"I called Luke. I thought that Luke and Sandy could 'escort' me," Ryan explained.

"I want more."

"I don't want Seth there…"

"I don't mean Seth, I mean professionals," She replied.

"Professionals."

"Private security. Their on my Dad's payroll…"

"I can't…"

"Yes, you can. You will. I won't have you hurt."

"He won't…"

"He has before. I won't risk it. Compromise."

Ryan met her gaze.

"Please?" She asked.

He nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. Deal."

"Okay."

"AJ told me to come around noon. Luke's meeting me here at 11."

"I'll make calls."

"Thanks," Ryan replied.

"Can I make another suggestion? Take Seth with you."

"To AJ's?"

"I think…" She hesitated. "I think he keeps you level."

Ryan nodded. "Okay."

----------

Ryan knocked on the door to AJ's apartment. Sandy was waiting in the SUV and Ryan was flanked by Seth, Luke and Kirsten's hired bodyguards, Robin and Wes.

AJ swung the door open. "You brought cops?"

"Not cops. At my guardian's request," Ryan replied. Luke glanced at Seth. They'd both noticed Ryan's tense posture and defensive stance.

"Two. You and one more, that's all I'm letting in," AJ announced.

"I'm going," Robin said immediately. "I have orders."

"No way," Seth protested.

"AJ. They all come in. They won't touch anything. I'll only take one to gather her things. You can watch me."

AJ hesitated, never taking his eyes off Ryan. "Okay, kid."

"Thank you," Ryan said.

AJ stared at him.

Finally, Ryan lowered his gaze. "Thank you, sir."

AJ stepped aside.

Ryan led his entourage inside.

"All her stuff's in the back."

Ryan gave Seth an almost imperceptible nod and they followed AJ into the bedroom.

"Here." AJ shoved an empty box into Ryan's hands. "I…I'm sorry about your Ma."

Ryan didn't respond, he went to the dresser.

Seth was uncomfortable under AJ's gaze. Ryan's demeanor alone was enough to let Seth know that AJ wasn't a nice guy, no matter what he said.

"This is Dawn's," Ryan said, recapturing their attention. He held up a gold necklace with an ornately decorated locket.

"Yeah. You can have that."

Ryan dropped it into the box. He held up a set of earrings.

"No way," AJ said immediately.

"I gave these to her for her birthday."

"You can't have them," AJ said.

"AJ…"

"They're real, aren't they?" AJ asked.

"I'll pay you whatever he paid," Seth interjected. Ryan glared at him and he stopped talking.

"You think he paid for them? Klepto over there?" AJ laughed.

"They're Dawn's. You can't deny that."

AJ finally nodded.

"Okay." Ryan slipped them into his pocket.

"There are photo albums in the top drawer," AJ muttered.

"What?" Ryan asked quietly, not sure that he heard him correctly.

"Fuck you," AJ snapped suddenly.

The door swung open and Robin and Wes stepped in immediately. "Everything okay?"

"Fine," Ryan said.

Wes nodded, watching AJ.

Ryan dropped the albums into the box.

AJ took a step toward Ryan but Luke immediately blocked his way.

"Five foot distance, man," Luke warned.

"Back up, kid. I want to talk to Ryan," AJ stated.

"It's cool. Can you guys give me a minute?"

"No," Wes replied instantly.

"I need a minute. Seth?"

Seth stared at Ryan for a long moment. "Okay. You get five minutes before we come back."

"Thanks," Ryan nodded.

Luke followed Seth and the security guys into the hallway.

"This doesn't seem right, Cohen," Luke said. "Ryan's…he's a little off today." They couldn't hear the conversation but they recognized Ryan's low voice every few minutes.

"Three minutes down," Wes stated.

There was a loud thump from within the room and Wes and Robin immediately pushed open the door.

Ryan had AJ pinned against the wall. "Dawn's not standing between us now, motherfucker…"

"Ryan, step back…" Luke pulled Ryan away from AJ.

"Like you could take me, you little punk, you brought your fucking backup 'cause you thought I was going to hurt your delicate pussy-ass…" AJ growled.

Ryan turned to lunge but Luke held his arms.

"Let's go, Ryan. Now," Seth ordered. He picked up the half-full box and moved toward the door.

"Come on, man," Luke said, holding him by the arm and pulling him toward the door.

"So, punk, the thing I can't figure out is which one's your boyfriend," AJ laughed.

Ryan broke away from Luke instantly and slammed AJ to the floor, punching him violently. AJ was fighting back, but Ryan had the upper hand. AJ's hits didn't affect him, Ryan was wild with anger.

Wes and Luke pulled Ryan off the man finally and Luke dragged him from the room.

"Come on, Ryan, snap out of it…" Luke ordered.

Ryan shook off his grasp, panting with rage. Wes and Robin had closed the door to the bedroom.

"Walk it off, man," Luke said.

Ryan's hands were bloody and his cheek was swelling. He flinched when Seth touched his shoulder to get his attention.

"Ryan, chill…"

"I fucking hate that guy…" Ryan muttered. "I need to get out of here…"

Robin and Wes stepped out. "Let's go. He won't file a complaint," Wes said.

"You okay, kid?" Robin asked.

"Yeah," Ryan muttered. "Fine."


	7. Seven

_AN: Thanks for the readers that are still following this. Next chapter should be the funeral if all goes well. That doesn't sound too good...anyway. _

----------

Sandy was talking on his phone when they emerged from the apartment building. He saw Seth carrying a box and knew that something had happened. His son wouldn't be caught dead doing any lifting. Luke was walking in front of Ryan and when he finally caught sight of Ryan, he lost his breath.

"I'm going to have to call you back," Sandy told the florist and hung up, stepping out of the SUV. "What happened? Did he…"

"Whoa, Dad, just slow down," Seth blocked his way.

"No, he's bleeding and…" Sandy started.

"Not my blood," Ryan muttered. "It's okay, Seth." He kept his eyes locked on his feet, but Sandy could see the pulsing rage behind his eyes.

"You attacked him?" Sandy asked after studying him. He wasn't as good as Seth at reading Ryan but he was getting there.

"He fucking deserved it…" Ryan muttered.

"We're leaving," Sandy said tersely. Ryan started to get into the back seat but Sandy shook his head. "You get shotgun. There're napkins in the glovebox for you to do a little clean up before we get back to Newport. We'll pull over somewhere closer to home."

Ryan nodded and climbed into the Rover.

"So. Who wants to tell me what happened?" Sandy asked once they made it to the freeway. The SUV was painfully silent.

"I lost it. I'm sorry," Ryan said finally.

"I need a little more detail, Ryan. Seth?"

"AJ's an ass," Seth replied.

"Well, thank you for that wonderful description, son, but…" Sandy started, getting angry at the lack of communication.

"I asked them to give me a few minutes alone with AJ and they did. It's not their fault. He pissed me off and I lost my temper. I sort of…attacked him. So the big guys, they pulled me off and Seth and Luke were getting me out of there…but he started talking shit…and I went after him again."

Sandy sighed. Ryan hadn't looked at him while he was talking, but Sandy knew that he was remorseful. Not for attacking AJ, but for losing his cool. He'd been pushing down his feelings for days but today, they had come through.

"Ryan…" Sandy sighed. "If he presses charges…"

"Fuck, your probation," Luke realized.

"The security guys took care of it," Seth said immediately. "They said he wouldn't press charges."

"You're going to have to explain this to Kirsten. She's going to kill me for not going in with you…" Sandy muttered.

"You couldn't have stopped him, he was a man on a mission," Luke replied. Seth shoved him.

"I'm sorry, Sandy," Ryan said quietly.

"I know. You're going to be even sorrier once we get home," Sandy sighed.

The SUV lapsed into silence.

"Dude…can I look at your pictures?" Seth asked finally.

Ryan shrugged and Seth took it as permission.

"Dude, you were always short," Luke laughed.

Sandy glanced at Ryan. "She had pictures?"

"I didn't know. AJ had them. A couple of albums. I figured I'd give them to Trey," Ryan said. He was leaning against the window with his eyes closed.

"You didn't look through them?"

"I don't care," Ryan mumbled. He didn't open his eyes.

Luke pulled out a photo and held it over Sandy's shoulder in his line of sight. It was a picture of Ryan in a little league uniform when he was about eight.

Sandy took it and put it in his pocket.

"Ouch…man, how'd you break your leg?" Seth asked, flipping through the album.

"Which time?" Ryan sighed.

"Um…never mind," Seth said, catching his father's warning glare.

Sandy caught sight of a convenience store and pulled over. Ryan hopped out immediately, disappearing inside.

"Are you going to ground him?"

"I don't know. We didn't want him to come…but I didn't consider this. I need to talk to Kirsten."

"That AJ guy was totally asking for it," Luke said quietly. "If it makes a difference or anything."

Sandy sighed.

"We tried to stop him Dad…I don't think I've ever seen him that mad…he was really mad," Seth said.

"I'm going to go talk to him. You guys want anything?"

"Nachos," Seth and Luke said in unison. They looked at each other, surprised before breaking into smiles as they all got out of the Rover.

Sandy followed the signs to the bathroom. He stepped in and saw Ryan standing in front of the mirror. He'd pulled his sleeves up and was holding his hands and arms under the sink.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"You're lying."

"I know. But it's for your own good."

Sandy walked over and put his hand on Ryan's back. He flinched, almost shuddering. Sandy kept his hand there.

"He's the only person I've ever truly hated. The only person I've ever wished dead. I know my mother wasn't a good mother, but she didn't deserve what happened to her. She deserved a better man than AJ…a better man than Dave…I…I don't know what to do, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, how I'm supposed to act, it's all just too much…" He whispered in a rush.

"Okay. It's a start, but I'll take it." Sandy turned Ryan until he was facing him. He leaned him against the sink and pulled off a paper towel and started gently cleaning Ryan's bruised face. Ryan closed his eyes and was breathing rapidly.

"Just relax. Breathe and don't think for a few minutes…"

"I…"

"Shh. There'll be plenty of time for talking back at home. Right now I need you to relax," Sandy said soothingly.

Finally, Ryan's breathing seemed to slow and Sandy saw some of the color returning to his face.

"Better?"

He nodded, still not opening his eyes.

"You hurt anywhere else? You're favoring your arm…"

"I'm okay…"

"Ryan."

"My side hurts."

"Let's see." Sandy pulled up his shirt and saw that his side was bruising.

"Nothing's broken. I'm fine."

"What about AJ?"

"He'll be okay. Not for lack of trying, though," Ryan muttered.

"Are you done, now? Is it out of your system?" Sandy asked.

"I'm done."

"You sure?"

"If he comes near me, Sandy…"

"He won't come near you again, Ryan."

"I don't want to be like him…I don't want to hurt anyone…but I really want to hurt him…" Ryan whispered.

"Hey. You won't see him again. I promise."

"You guys okay in here?" Seth stuck his head into the bathroom tentatively.

"Yeah. You ready? You need anything?" Sandy asked, waiting until Ryan walked out first, meeting Seth by the door.

"I'm good."

"You can have some of our nachos, dude. If vacuum Luke over there doesn't eat the whole crate," Seth said.

"I'll be by the Rover," Ryan said, walking out of the store. Sandy and Seth watched him walk out.

"Where the hell is getting those cigarettes from?" Sandy asked when he recognized the puff of smoke from beside the Range Rover.

"Don't ask don't tell," Seth said as Luke joined them.

"Luke? Did you buy him those cigarettes?"

"What? No, smoking sucks. Chino's smoking again?" Luke was genuinely surprised. "Wait 'till I tell the coach, he'll have his ass…"

"You going to get him?" Seth asked his father.

"Hold these. I'll get him," Luke said, shoving his nachos into Seth's hands and leaving the store. Sandy glanced at Seth.

"We better get out there before Luke and Ryan start fighting again," Seth said with a sigh.

"I'm going to get Ryan a soda. Can you referee them?" Sandy asked.

"Sure."

----------

Kirsten was sitting on the patio with Grace and Graham when they returned. Sandy stepped out first, kissing her on the cheek and taking a seat beside her around the table. He put the photo albums on the table between them.

"Where's Seth and Ryan? Did everything go okay?"

"Not exactly…" Sandy admitted.

"What happened?" Grace asked.

"We were worried about AJ hurting Ryan…we didn't consider that Ryan might…well, he lost his temper…"

"He went after AJ? Sandy, why didn't you…"

"Seth, Luke and the bodyguards went up. I stayed in the car…"

"Sandy, why?" Kirsten gasped.

"Ryan asked me to," Sandy replied quietly. "That man…if I had been up there and he'd said something to him…"

"You don't fight, Sandy…" Kirsten scoffed.

"Ryan asked me to stay. He didn't want me to get upset. And he seemed…fine with Luke and Seth…I didn't think…"

"AJ…Dawn's boyfriend…he's a big guy, isn't he?" Graham asked. Grace leaned over and took one of the photo albums and started looking through it.

"Yeah. Big, mean guy. Luke and Seth said Ryan just lost it…there's a lot of unresolved stuff between them. But he's home now. He won't ever have to go back there again…"

"This is Trey?" Grace asked pointing at a faded picture from the album.

"I've never seen him…he looks like Ryan…" Kirsten remarked.

"They both look like Dawn…" Graham said, focusing his attention on the pictures.

"Where are the boys?"

"Seth's mediating Luke and Ryan. Luke found out Ryan's been sneaking smokes and he's pretty angry about it."

"Why would Luke care?" Kirsten asked.

"Soccer, apparently. And Ryan's health," Sandy shrugged.

"I'm going to go check on him…" Kirsten said, worried.

Grace and Graham were staring at the album with rapt attention.

"Grace? Ryan says this is for you," Sandy said quietly, holding out the locket he'd retrieved from AJ's.

"Oh…she kept it?" Grace gasped.

"Ryan knew where it was. It was one of the things he wanted to go get. He wanted you to have it."

"It was my grandmother's. She gave it to my mom and I gave it to Dawn…I can't believe she kept it…"

"Thank you, Sandy," Graham said.

Kirsten found Seth standing between Ryan and Luke in the kitchen. Luke was glaring at Ryan angrily and Ryan was staring at the floor. "Everything okay in here?"

"Fine," Ryan and Luke said in unison. Seth was a few seconds behind, but he answered, too. "Fine."

"Luke, why don't you and Seth give us a minute…" Kirsten said, putting her hand on Ryan's shoulder and not removing it when he flinched.

"Come on," Seth pulled Luke out of the kitchen.

"Are you all right?"

He looked at her with sad eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again.

"Long day?"

He nodded.

"Can I ask you to talk to me?" She asked gently.

"I think I'm officially all talked out…Sandy lectured me, Luke's lectured me and no matter what they think, I feel bad enough about what happened as it is…"

"Have you slept at all, Ryan?"

"I…I can't really sleep."

"You had a long day today. Why don't you go to your room and try and get some sleep?" She softened her tone. "Tomorrow's going to be a rough day, too. You need your rest."

"Okay," He agreed quietly.

"I'll tell Seth and Luke that you're grounded so you won't be disturbed. But I will be out in a few minutes to check on you and bring you something to eat…"

"Thanks," Ryan said, relieved.

"Grace and Graham are outside."

"I'll speak," Ryan nodded.

"You…"

"Kirsten. Thanks. I'm sorry about today…"

"I know, honey," Kirsten said, pulling him into an impromptu hug. "Everything will work out. We'll get through this together. No more handling stuff on your own, okay?"

"Okay." He pulled away, looking better. He took a deep breath. "I better go talk to Grace."

She nodded.

Ryan walked outside and approached the table.

"Ryan. Thank you so much for the necklace…" Grace startled him with an embrace. "If I had known…"

"She would have wanted you to have it, I think. I couldn't just leave it there," Ryan admitted.

"You okay here?" Sandy asked him.

"Yeah. Kirsten's sending me for naptime. I'm okay," Ryan promised.

Sandy nodded and left them. Ryan sat down in his vacated chair.

"Ryan…I know this is hard…but could you tell us about these pictures?" Grace asked. Graham glared at her.

"Mom, he's had a long day…" Graham protested.

"No, it's okay," Ryan said. He gave Graham a once over, suspicious. "I don't mind."

"Really?" Graham raised an eyebrow. Ryan narrowed his eyes.

"Can I ask you something first?" Ryan asked.

"Sure," Graham replied, surprised.

"Cop or shrink?" Ryan asked flatly.

Grace stifled a laugh.

"Excuse me?"

"Are you a cop or a shrink?" Ryan repeated.

"Shrink," Graham answered.

"Okay. Your questions aren't exactly normal questions all the time. I just wanted to know what I was dealing with."

"Fair enough," Graham smiled.

"So. You want a family history with pictures now? You might want to wait and go over these with Trey. He remembers more than I do," Ryan said.

"What about this?"

"That was this play I did in fifth grade. Dawn showed up for the curtain call, that's what you see there," Ryan said.

Kirsten stepped out a few minutes later and was surprised to hear Ryan talking quietly with Graham and Grace.

"Kirsten. Did you know Ryan played little league?" Grace smiled, clearly happy to be hearing about Ryan's past.

"No, he never mentioned it…" Kirsten said with a smile. Ryan was red with embarrassment.

"He's been telling us about the pictures," Grace grinned proudly.

"Oh. That's nice of you, Ryan," Kirsten said. She put her hand on his shoulder. "You were supposed to be lying down."

"Yeah, sorry." Ryan stood up. "I'll talk to you guys later."

"Thanks, Ryan. For the history lesson…and for the necklace. It means a lot," Grace said.

"No problem. I'll see you later." Ryan said. Kirsten walked with him to the poolhouse. "Thanks," He said as they stepped in.

"That was very nice of you. Talking to Grace."

"She's not so bad. She's nice. Graham's a shrink, though…so I'm not really sure how I feel about that," Ryan admitted. "At least he's not interrogating me too much."

"Honey, sit down." Kirsten sat down on the bed and patted it until he sat down. "I want you to lie down."

"I'm not sleepy."

"I think you're more tired than you know."

He sighed. He stretched out as she stood up.

"This really isn't the time…but have you thought about what you're going to do tomorrow?" She asked.

"The funeral."

"Yeah."

"I think…I think I have to go. Grace and Trey…they won't understand why I'm not there…"

"They will understand. If you don't want to go…"

"I don't want to go. I don't think anyone wants to go. It's a funeral," He said quietly.

"True."

"But I need to go. Closure or whatever." His voice was softer.

"Ryan?"

"Hmm?" His breathing had settled into sleep. She covered him with a blanket and let him sleep with his shoes still on.

----------

"How's he doing?" Sandy stepped into the poolhouse later that evening. Kirsten was keeping watch from the chair by the bed, her laptop open to spreadsheets.

"Sleeping. He hasn't moved since he hit the bed."

"Grace's other son is flying in tonight. She wants him to meet Ryan. He has kids," Sandy said, kissing her as he settled onto the armrest of her chair.

"That's a little much for him, don't you think?" Kirsten asked.

"The funeral tomorrow? Yeah. It is. That's why I'm here. They're going to be staying at the hotel with Graham and Grace. I was thinking we could have brunch here tomorrow before the service."

"Sounds reasonable. How many kids?" Kirsten sighed.

"Twin girls, sixteen. And a son, eighteen. He's going to be going to UCLA in the fall. Grace thinks it'll be good for Ryan to get to know him."

"Instant family," Kirsten muttered.

"I'll take over. Why don't you go inside?" Sandy asked.

"He could've been hurt today."

"He's fine. He's tough. Your guards took good care of him."

"You should've gone in with him, Sandy."

"Hindsight is 20/20," Sandy replied.

Kirsten closed her laptop and stood up. She kissed him on the cheek and left.

Sandy leaned over and started to unlace Ryan's shoes.

"Stop it…sleeping…" Ryan mumbled.

"Just getting your shoes off…" Sandy grinned.

"Sandy?" Ryan sat up as soon as Sandy had dropped his shoes to the floor. "What time is it?"

"Around eight-thirty."

"I've been asleep that long?" He yawned, rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah. You needed it. You hungry?"

"A little. I'll come inside."

"First…let's talk."

"Again? What now?"

"Well, you know how Grace has two sons?" Sandy started.

Ryan nodded his understanding. "I get to meet uncle number 2?"

"Tomorrow morning. There are some cousins coming, too."

"Oh. Cousins?"

"Twin girls, sixteen. And a son, eighteen years old. Grace wants you guys to meet."

Ryan shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

"No pressure…"

"That's what you always say," Ryan grinned.

"Watch it," Sandy joked, nudging him as he got to his feet.

----------


	8. Eight

----------

"So, dude. You ready for today?" Seth asked when Ryan came in the next morning.

Ryan raised an eyebrow at him.

"That's a no?"

"That's a 'what the hell are you talking about'…" Ryan replied with a smirk.

"The funeral," Seth stated.

Ryan hesitated by the coffeepot.

"Sorry…" Seth apologized.

"No, it's just…at least it's a closed casket. I don't want to see her…like that," Ryan murmured. He recovered, pouring his coffee and turning to face Seth. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Well, before the parents invade…can I ask you about your Dad? How's that going to…"

"I'm not thinking about that either," Ryan replied.

"Ryan."

He slowly met Seth's gaze. "I don't want to talk to him. No matter what he says, good or bad, it's not going to be what I need to hear."

"Fair enough," Seth accepted.

"I'm more worried about the cousins."

"Cousins?" Seth asked, clearly intrigued.

"Yeah. Dawn's other brother is bringing kids," Ryan replied. "Nothing like a funeral to bring families together."

"Dude…" Seth scolded.

"Sorry."

"Dark much?"

"Yeah. Actually," Ryan grumbled.

"Morning, guys. Coffee?" Kirsten asked.

"Finish it off and I'll start a new pot," Ryan offered.

"How're you doing?" She asked as he poured her a cup.

"Tired," Ryan answered.

"He's grumpy," Seth volunteered. Ryan stuck his tongue out at Seth.

"What time are the Thompson's coming?" Seth asked his mother.

"Eleven. A car's coming to take everyone to the service around one." She glanced at Ryan. "You still sure about going?"

"As of right now…yes."

She nodded.

Sandy stepped in. "Coffee?"

Kirsten passed him a fresh cup.

"So, what's for breakfast?" Sandy asked.

"Coffee," Kirsten, Ryan and Seth replied.

"Ah. Coffee."

----------

"Jesus, Ryan!" Seth whispered, surprising him by the air conditioners.

Ryan frantically swatted away the smoke from his cigarette. "Are your parents out here?"

"No, dude, but seriously, where the hell do you keep getting them?" Seth asked.

"Rosa's trying to quit. She'll buy a pack, smoke one and feel so guilty that she'll give them to me. Until she buys another pack and…well, you get the idea," Ryan explained.

"They're going to kill you. And I don't mean cancer, I mean Luke and Mom…"

"Sorry…" He took a hurried drag before grinding out the cigarette with his shoe.

"Are you seriously okay?"

"Yeah. Seriously."

Seth raised an eyebrow.

"Don't give me the eyebrow," Ryan warned.

Seth kept his eyebrow raised with doubt.

"I'm cool. I mean, it's my mom's funeral, how am I supposed to act? Just let me be cool."

"Okay, man. But I'm here."

"I know," Ryan nodded.

"Hey, guys," Summer said. She kissed Seth's cheek and sniffed. "You smoking?"

"No," Seth said, glaring at Ryan.

"Chino! Luke's going to kick your ass," Summer scolded.

"I better go spray some cologne," Ryan said.

Inside, Kirsten and Sandy were greeting their guests.

"Sandy, Kirsten, this is my son, Evan," Grace introduced.

Evan was a tall blond man with a muscular frame. He shook their hands warmly. "I haven't heard much about you, but it's all been good."

"These are my grandchildren. The twins, Corinne and Lorraine, and my grandson, Brent," Grace continued.

The girls were thin and pretty while Brent mirrored his father, only shy a few inches of his height. All shared Ryan's bright blue eyes.

"Come in, make yourselves comfortable. There's food and videogames for the kids…" Kirsten said, leading them into the kitchen.

Brent was the first to speak. "You have a very nice home. Can we meet our cousin?"

Corinne shoved him, shaking her head. "Be polite," She hissed.

"That was polite," He whispered back. Lorraine smacked him on the back of his head.

"Excuse my children. Plane rides always make them a little rowdy," Evan smiled, embarrassed.

"Ryan stays in the poolhouse. Evan, would you like me to introduce you as well?" Sandy asked.

"That would be nice," He said.

"We can have brunch on the patio," Kirsten said.

Sandy led Evan and the blond children onto the patio. Corinne and Lorraine cooed over the pool and view but Brent stayed by his father's side.

Sandy knocked on the poolhouse door. The blinds were all up and Seth, Summer and Ryan were sitting on the bed. Seth waved him inside.

"Guys, this is Evan Thompson and his kids. Brent, Corinne and Lorraine. This is my son Seth, Ryan and their friend, Summer."

Seth nudged Ryan who seemed frozen. Ryan got up and went to shake Evan's hand.

"You look just like Dawn…" Evan muttered.

"I've been hearing that a lot lately," Ryan gave him a weak smile.

"Hey," Brent nodded, sizing him up with his eyes.

"Hey. Nice to meet you guys."

"I'll let you guys get acquainted," Sandy said, leaving with Evan.

"So," Brent stated coldly.

"What do you guys want to do?" Seth asked, looking between Ryan and Brent worriedly.

"Is that bag Gucci?" Corinne asked Summer.

"That's totally not findable in Boston, you have to tell us where you got that," Lorraine echoed. The twins settled on the bed as Summer launched into a narration of her latest shopping trip.

"You can sit down if you want," Ryan told Brent.

"I'd like to ask you some questions," Brent replied, taking a seat in the chair. Ryan sat down beside Seth, ignoring his concern.

"Okay," Ryan shrugged.

"Why are you doing this to my grandmother? Is it because you want money, because it looks like you've got a pretty sweet setup already…"

"Excuse me?" Ryan asked before Seth could get a word in.

"Dad's going to do a DNA test. To prove that this is all a scam…"

"Dude, you are way out of line," Seth said.

"No, he is. Just popping up all of a sudden and saying that Dawn is his mother, just to have her mysteriously die before we can prove any of it," Brent continued. "You're just after Grandma's money…"

"You know what? You're right. Why'd you even come in here when you already know all the answers? You're right. Does that make you feel better?" Ryan spoke his words clearly and coldly. He stood up and walked into the bathroom.

"Get the hell out. Now." Seth stood up and took Brent by the collar and pulled him to his feet. "Get out."

"You're such an ass, Brent," Corinne said, pulling him by the arm through the door.

Lorraine turned to Summer and Seth. "I'm sorry about that. Brent's just…protective. Dad hasn't really told us anything and Brent's imagination is a little overactive."

"Ryan's mother died. Today is her funeral. If you're really sorry, you'll keep him away from Ryan," Summer said. Seth ignored them, going to the bathroom and knocking on the door. Lorraine followed her siblings out.

"Dude? Dude, open the door," Seth demanded.

The door swung open. Ryan was pale but his face was blank.

"Man, that guy is an ass…" Seth said.

"It's fine."

"Chino, are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. I'm going to go ahead and get dressed. I want to head over early so I can be there when Trey comes."

"You want us to come with?" Seth asked.

"If you want," Ryan shrugged. Seth stared at him. Finally, Ryan nodded. "That'd be nice. You can finally meet Trey."

"Come on, Cohen. Let's go get dressed," Summer said quietly.

----------

Grace, Graham and Evan were flipping through the photo albums when Brent appeared with Corinne at his side.

"Hey, kids. This was your aunt Dawn," Evan said, pointing at a picture.

"Who's the other kid?" Brent asked.

"Ryan's brother Trey. He'll be at the funeral," Graham replied.

"Why isn't he here?" Brent continued.

"He's in jail," Grace answered.

"Grandma, why do you believe this kid, he wasn't even living with Dawn," Brent said suddenly.

Grace gasped, blushing with anger. "Brent, he wasn't living with Dawn because she kicked him out. She was an alcoholic drug addict who should never have had children…"

"Mom," Graham warned.

"No, he's wrong. Brent, Ryan did not come to me, I came to him. He's had a harder life than I can even imagine and he didn't even know we existed. He is my grandson as much as you are," She snapped.

"Did you say something to him, Brent?" Evan asked.

"I…" Brent stammered, clearly chastened.

"He said Ryan was only after Grandma's money," Corinne answered.

"Brent, maybe you should hear the whole story. Sit down. You too, Corinne," Grace said.

"I'm going to talk to the kid…" Graham said.

"You should leave him alone. His…the Cohen's son said we should leave him alone," Lorraine said, approaching.

"Sit down, Lorraine," Evan said.

Graham went to the poolhouse and knocked. Ryan opened the door, dressed in a simple black suit.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Why?" Ryan asked, leaving the door open as the man followed him in.

"Brent."

"He's fine. He's protecting his family. It's fine."

"He's wrong."

"It's fine, Mr. Thompson."

"It's Graham."

Ryan turned and kept his gaze at the man's feet. "It's fine, Graham."

"Ryan. This wasn't supposed to be like this…" Graham apologized.

"Honestly? Today is Mom's funeral. I didn't expect it to be easy. Nothing's going to make this day any easier, even if he had welcomed me with open arms, it's still going to be one of the worst days of my life. And I've had a lot of bad days, so that's saying something," Ryan stated quickly. "If you don't mind, I'd like a little time to get myself together."

"No problem," Graham said, startled.

Sandy stepped in. "Everything all right? Why are you already dressed?"

"Seth's going to take me over early so I can talk to Trey. Is that all right?" Ryan asked.

Sandy wrinkled his eyebrows with concern. Graham stepped out.

"What's going on?" Sandy asked immediately.

"This just sucks. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to, I'm getting bitched out by some punk I don't even know and I need to get out of here. These people, they aren't my family, I don't care what the DNA says, they don't know me and they don't need to know me. I want this over, Sandy. I want it finished…" Ryan said in a rush.

"Sit down," Sandy said calmly.

"I don't want to sit down…"

"Ryan. Sit down."

Ryan sat down beside Sandy on the bed.

"What happened?"

"I don't want…"

"I don't care. What happened?"

"Brent says I'm only after his Grandma's money," Ryan stated flatly.

"What?"

"It's so fucking stupid. But I can't deal with it. Not today. I have to go to this funeral and see my mother's coffin. I have to see my father standing in chains beside my brother who's standing in chains. And the worst thing is, I'm surrounded by strangers. None of these people even knew Dawn…not even you. And you're not a stranger…but it just seems wrong to have her being mourned by people that didn't even know her."

"Okay. Deep breath."

Ryan obeyed.

"Okay. You're ready. Seth and Summer are going to take you. What else can I do to make this easier?"

"Nothing. It's not easy…you've already done so much. I just want to go ahead and…and come to terms with it myself. Like, without a crowd…I'll be fine," Ryan said.

"I believe you. I don't know why, but I do. You can go with Seth and Summer. I'll make sure the Thompson's don't hassle you…"

"I don't have anything against them…I just don't…I don't belong to them, Sandy. I'm not a part of their family…I don't know if I want to be. Grace is fine, she's nice, I think she means well…but the rest of them? I…I don't want to get all stressed out over people that don't even know me."

"That's fine, Ryan. It's your decision. I want you to relax, okay? You're wound way too tight…" Sandy said.

"I know," Ryan sighed. "I'm trying to unwind…"

"But we won't let you smoke…"

"That doesn't help," Ryan laughed nervously.

"Seth should be ready soon. I'll deal with the Thompsons. Why don't you guys walk around the house and avoid the kitchen?"

"Thanks, Sandy," Ryan said, relieved.

"I'll give you some time. Tomorrow will be better, kid."

"I hope so," Ryan said.

Graham was waiting outside the poolhouse when Sandy stepped out. "How's he doing?"

"Not so good. He'll be fine. I don't think we should force any more family reunions on him, though. Today's hard enough for him…"

"He doesn't want anything to do with us, does he?"

"Can you blame him?" Sandy asked, guiding Graham toward the house. "I don't think your nephew made the best impression." Sandy hardened his tone. "Ryan is not after money. He's a good kid. He could care less about money…I don't appreciate your nephew's words, Graham. Ryan has enough to deal with living here, he gets enough flak from the snobby little kids around here, he doesn't deserve to hear it from you guys."

"I'm sorry about Brent, Sandy. I don't feel that way about him, I know Mom doesn't…" Graham started.

"I hope not. But I'm afraid that I have to side with Ryan on this one. Stay away from him, Graham. This is really hard for him. I'm sorry that I have to ask, but I do. Ryan's my first priority. Give him space."

Graham nodded. "I understand. I'll talk to Mom."

"Thank you."

----------

Ryan walked into the church, followed by Seth and Summer.

"Dude, you haven't said anything the whole way, can I please get something?" Seth urged.

"Something…" Ryan muttered.

"Thanks," Seth sighed dramatically.

"Come on, Seth. Leave him alone," Summer whispered.

"No, it's fine. I appreciate you guys coming with me. I'm just a little messed up right now," Ryan confessed. He sat down in one of the last pews of the church. Far from the flower-covered coffin at the front.

"Messed up?" Seth asked, sitting down beside him.

"I mean…I know it's not my fault. Mom dying. It was the drugs, it was her choice…but I can't stop thinking…If I had been there, if I had still been living with her…"

"Chino, you can't be serious. She kicked you out, she left you…" Summer started.

"Wait," Seth said, taking her hand. "Go on, Ryan."

"I know all that, Summer. But…but I took care of her. She was…she was my mom. She was the only mom I ever had…and I let her die…"

"You didn't let her die. How many times did you try to get her help?" Seth asked.

"A few…"

"And how many times did she shut you down? She was an adult. She made her own decisions…" Seth stated quietly.

"I know. But she's dead."

They were silent.

"It's not your fault," Summer whispered.

"I hope not," Ryan replied. Seth put his arm around him.

"Are you going to be okay, man?"

"If I can make it through today, I'll be fine," Ryan muttered.

"Can I help you kids?" A priest walked up to them.

"Um…sure, I guess. I'm Seth Cohen and this is my brother, Ryan Atwood. That's his mom," Seth pointed to the coffin.

The father nodded. "Ah. I see."

"We came a little early so Ryan could greet his brother, he's coming from…" Seth's words started to trail off.

"From jail," Ryan finished, giving Seth a grateful glance.

"I was informed. If you'd like to talk, I'll be around, okay?" The man smiled.

"Thanks," Ryan nodded. The priest walked away.

"Weird."

"This whole day is weird," Ryan muttered.

"You want to go outside? I know you have cigarettes," Seth offered.

Ryan gave him a lazy grin.

"Right?" Seth asked.

"Yeah. You're not going to tell your folks?" Ryan asked.

"No. But Summer's going to tell Luke," Seth replied as they walked outside.

"Damn." Ryan lit a cigarette and paced in place on the sidewalk.

"Dude. You're really wired," Seth said.

A Department of Corrections Van pulled up nearby and parked.

"That your brother?" Seth asked.

"Or my father. I can't tell," Ryan replied.

"What are you going to do if it's your Dad?" Summer asked.

"Nothing. I have nothing to say to him," Ryan replied evenly. His hands were shaking as he inhaled deeply off the cigarette.

Two guards got out and opened the door of the van. Trey stepped out, dressed in a suit but still handcuffed. He shook off the guard's helpful hand with a glare.

"That's Trey," Ryan said.

"Hey, little brother." The guards walked him over to where they were standing.

"Trey, this is Seth and his girlfriend, Summer," Ryan introduced.

"Nice to meet you," Trey nodded. "I'd shake your hand, but I'm a little tied up," He smiled.

"Nice to meet you, too," Seth replied, relaxing at his joke.

"You okay? You look a little shook up," Trey said.

"Yeah, well. Long day."

"I guess." Trey said. "So, should I go in and…"

"Closed casket," Ryan said. He met Trey's gaze and they stared at each other for a long moment. Seth glanced at Summer, confused.

"He's coming. Are you going to talk to him?" Trey asked, reading Ryan's eyes.

"He's found religion according to Sandy. And no, I'm not going to talk to him," Ryan replied.

"Good. You stay with your new brother here, don't fuck with Dad." Trey glanced at Seth. "You don't let him go near him, you hear me? He might say he's changed, but I don't believe it. It's for the best."

Seth gave Trey an uncomfortable nod.

"Leave Seth out of this. I'm not messing with him," Ryan replied.

"Let's get you inside. We'll take the cuffs off in the church for the service," The guard on Trey's left said.

"I'll see you inside. You sitting with me?" Trey asked.

"Depends on where Dad sits," Ryan replied.

"Good answer," Trey grinned. The guards walked him inside.

"He's nice," Seth said.

"Yeah. He has his moments. A little overprotective for a guy in jail, though," Ryan muttered.

"You want to go back inside? Everyone else should be arriving soon…" Seth said. Another department of corrections van pulled up.

"Yeah. Inside," Ryan said, tossing his cigarette into the street.

Seth and Summer flanked him as they returned inside.

Ryan disappeared into the bathroom and Summer and Seth waited outside. Two guards walked in with an older man dressed in a faded suit. Unlike Trey, he was handcuffed and shackled and the guards were clearly watching him closely.

"Is my boy in there?" He asked Seth. Seth was chilled by the man's cold blue eyes. They weren't like Ryan's or Grace's or any of the Thompsons. His eyes were stony and cold.

"Excuse me?" Summer asked. "Your boy?" She snapped, immediately defensive. She put a hand on Seth's arm protectively.

"Ryan," He replied.

"I don't think that's any of your business," Seth responded.

"Let's go, Atwood. You're here for the service, not small talk," One of his guards growled, leading him inside.

"I want to see my boy," He said but the guards kept him moving.

"That was…" Seth started.

"Surreal," Summer finished.

Ryan stepped out, looking steadier.

"So. Your Dad's here. He was looking for you," Seth said shakily.

"Did he say something to you?" Ryan asked, sensing the tension.

"He was looking for you. He…he doesn't seem as nice as Trey," Summer said.

"He's not…" Ryan replied. He leaned against the wall, deflating.

Sandy stepped in with Kirsten at his side. "Everything all right?"

"Yeah. Ryan's dad and brother are here," Seth said.

"Oh," Sandy said, surprised. "Did you…"

"No. I talked to Trey, I was in the bathroom when Dad came by," Ryan replied.

"Let's go talk to the priest, Ryan," Kirsten said, taking him by the arm. "We'll make sure the service is to your liking. Grace and her family should be coming along any minute and we'll get you out of the line of fire. We'll wait until right before the service starts to sit down with Sandy and Seth. Okay?"

"Okay," Ryan said. Kirsten led him away.

"You guys okay?"

"Yeah. But his dad is a creepy guy. Trey told us to keep him away from Ryan…"

"Thanks for coming with him. Let's get our seats. Ryan will be sitting with us," Sandy said.

----------

The service was nice and calm. Soft piano music played as the priest said a few words and read from the scripture. Ryan didn't react to any of it. He sat between Seth and Sandy. Sandy held Kirsten's hand while Seth held Summer's hand. Ryan kept his hands folded on his lap. He was still despite his father's constant glances from across the room. Dawn was going to be cremated so after the service, there wouldn't be a graveside service. Grace had requested her ashes, she wanted to take Dawn home to Boston.

"Ryan? You ready?" Sandy asked as the priest finished the service.

"Yeah. Ready…" Ryan said.

Trey and his father were both standing up, the guards between them. Ryan didn't look over until he heard his name from his brother.

"You stay away from Ryan. He doesn't need your bullshit anymore. Haven't you done enough to this family already?" Trey was yelling.

Ryan started to go over but Sandy gripped his arm tightly.

"No, Ryan. Don't," Sandy urged.

"It's fine. Let me go," Ryan said. Sandy studied him but finally released him. Ryan walked over and glared between his brother and his father.

"Ryan…" His father started.

"Stop it. You want to see me?" Ryan held his arms out and turned around dramatically. "Here I am. Other than that, we're done. You want to make a scene at my mother's funeral? Fine. But have a little respect for the dead. Both of you," He snapped, glaring at Trey.

"Man, I'm sorry," Trey apologized.

"I just want to talk to you," Ryan's father said, his face twisted in anger.

"You're a few years too late. The service is over," Ryan said to the guard on his father's right. The guard nodded and started leading him out of the church.

"Ry…"

"Drop it, Trey," Ryan said. He turned to him. "I'll come see you in a few days. You can bitch at me all you want then."

"Ryan. Let's go," Seth came over and spoke quietly. Ryan followed him down the aisle and out of the church. Seth put his hand on Ryan's back and he flinched, visibly affected.

"Sorry," Ryan said.

"It's cool. Come on, Summer's already bringing the car around…" Seth said. Ryan nodded. Summer's car screeched to a halt on the curb.

"Your parents…"

"They're behind us. I'm under orders to take you home and chill you out," Seth replied.

"Oh," Ryan said. He was frozen on the curb.

"Get in the car, Ryan," Seth urged.

"Oh. Yeah," Ryan murmured, climbing into the backseat.

"You okay, Chino?" Summer asked.

Ryan nodded. He didn't have any words yet.

----------

"Aren't you going to check on him?" Evan asked Sandy back at the house. They were alone in the kitchen.

"Seth's with him," Sandy replied.

"I want to apologize for Brent. He's not usually so ignorant," Evan said.

"I know how kids can be. It would've been nice for Ryan to have some…some good familial relations. His mother and father…I'm not a fan of either," Sandy replied.

"I see that now. I can't believe she'd ask him over just to O.D…it's the worst, most heartless thing I've ever heard."

"He's safe now. Ryan's one of the brightest kids I've even know. Seth's smart and together…I think they could do anything they put their minds to…it's a scary thought. He's overcome what Dawn and his father have done to him."

Seth entered with Summer from outside.

"Hey, kid," Sandy greeted.

"He's okay. He just needs time," Seth said.

"We'll be upstairs," Summer said, pulling him from the kitchen.

"So. Tell me about yourself," Sandy said, leading Evan back into the den with the rest of the guests.

Ryan was sitting between the air conditioners, smoking.

"Hey. Can I bum one?"

Ryan recognized one of the twins. He shook out a cigarette for her. She lit it with her own lighter.

"Can I sit?"

"I don't bite," Ryan replied.

"Ryan, right? I'm Corinne." She lowered her voice. "I'm the bad one."

"Ah. Good to know," He smiled nervously.

"Sucks about your mom."

"Yeah."

"I mean," She started. "I don't know exactly how you feel, but I got the synopsis from Grandma. Your mom, she had a lot of problems?"

Ryan nodded.

"My ex…he's a junkie. I love him…a lot…but nothing I do will ever make him better." She took a thoughtful drag. "I had to let him go because I don't want that life. Drugs, stealing…I want a safe life."

"I get that. Good for you," He said honestly.

"I don't love him less because I left. I mean, if he cared the same way, he'd clean up, you know? We all have choices."

"You're pretty smart for sixteen," Ryan remarked.

"From what I hear, I'm only a few months younger than you, guy," She laughed. She gave him a look. "Don't…don't tell Lorraine or Brent about all that. They don't really know about the ex's problems…"

"Don't worry, I don't talk much," Ryan replied.

"Cori? Are you smoking?" Brent appeared. He looked at each of them for a moment. "Can I get one?"

Ryan passed the pack to him.

"What are you guys talking about?" Brent asked.

Corinne was silent.

"I don't talk," Ryan answered finally.

"So…I'm sorry," Brent said.

Ryan shrugged.

"You're an ass, Brent. That's what you should be sorry for," Corinne snickered.

"Well, I can't really do anything about that, Corinne," Brent joked, flipping her ponytail. She ducked, annoyed. "But seriously, Ryan. I was stupid. I'd like it if we could be friends."

"Brent thinks he's the shit because he's going to UCLA in the fall," Corinne muttered.

Brent laughed quietly when Ryan didn't respond. "You really don't talk."

"I really don't," Ryan smiled.

"Chino!"

Ryan winced at Luke's voice and crushed his cigarette hurriedly.

"Kirsten gave me permission to kick your ass if you were smoking," Luke said, pulling him to his feet.

"Fuck you, Luke."

Luke scoffed but finally smiled. "Sorry I couldn't make it earlier…"

"It's cool. Luke, this is Corinne and Brent," Ryan introduced.

Luke shook Corinne's hand politely before glaring at Brent. "Cohen said you were a dick."

"Luke, it's cool. He's cool," Ryan said quickly.

"Cool." Luke stepped back. Brent was clearly surprised.

"Seth called you?" Ryan asked.

"I called. Wanted to see if you needed a break from brooding. My Dad's out of town and I just got this new game so…" Luke started. He caught Ryan's glances at Corinne and Brent. "Oh. Yeah. Well, you guys are welcome to come, it's a big place," He offered.

"I don't know if Dad would go for that," Corinne said.

"No drinking. Sandy and Kirsten have Chino on lockdown," Luke said. He gave Ryan a look.

"No," Ryan said immediately.

"What?" Corinne asked.

"Chino can talk his way out of anything. He could convince Sandy," Luke said.

"What do you say, sis? Want a break from Dad and Grandma?" Brent asked.

"Hell, yeah," She grinned at Luke.

"Fuck all of you," Ryan grumbled. He held out his hand to Luke.

"What?"

"Gum," Ryan stated.

"Hell no, you should let them smell the smoke," Luke muttered.

"You want to go to your Dad's or not?" Ryan asked. Luke gave him a piece of gum and Ryan walked away.

"You known Ryan long?" Brent asked, amused by their exchange.

"A few months. I hated his guts when he first got here. He took my girlfriend…it's a long story. But then this house burned down and I got shot and my Dad…anyway. We're cool now," Luke grinned.

"Wow." Corinne was impressed.

"He doesn't talk much, but he's loyal. He's one of the best guys I know," Luke added.

"Hey, guys. What's going on?" Lorraine appeared.

"Nothing…" Corinne said, dropping her cigarette butt absently. "Lorraine, this is Luke, Ryan's friend."

Lorraine gave him a smile. "Hey."

"Nice to meet you."

Ryan reappeared. "Okay."

"Okay?" Corinne asked.

"Yeah. Let's go." Ryan held up the keys to the Range Rover.

"Where's Cohen?" Luke asked.

"Out front already. We've got three hours and then we have to be back for dinner."

----------

Luke, Brent and Seth were playing video games while Summer, Corinne and Lorraine took turns burning cds on Luke's computer.

Ryan was lying outside on the patio in one of the chairs. A breeze from the beach was blowing on him and the sun was warm but he was still tense.

"It's gorgeous here."

Ryan shielded his eyes and recognized Lorraine. She had shorter hair by an inch or so than Corinne. "Yeah."

"Your friends are nice. And Corinne's been a fan of yours since Grandma said you were in juvie," She smiled. "Your one step further into trouble than she's been on that note."

"It's not really something I'm proud of."

"A bump in the road. We all have them. Brent, Cori, and me, we're no stranger to bumps. Maybe not of your caliber, but…"

"It's cool, Lorraine."

"So, Seth. He talks a lot, is that why you're so quiet?"

Ryan smiled. "Nah."

"You guys okay out here?" Summer and Corinne stepped out.

"Yeah, it was just my turn to talk to Ryan," Lorraine said.

"Why aren't you in with Cohen and Luke?" Summer asked, concerned.

"I was just…sitting. I'll let you guys sit now," Ryan said, going inside before they could stop him. He sat down in the empty chair in the living room.

"Chino, what's up?" Luke called.

"Nothing."

"You still look sprung, man, what happened today?" Luke asked.

"Nothing," Ryan sighed.

Seth shoved Luke on the couch. "Stupid. Shut up."

Luke flushed. "Sorry, Chino."

Ryan waved his hand indifferently. He closed his eyes and covered his face. Luke and Seth's bickering lulled him to sleep.

----------

Ryan and Seth brought Brent and the twins back to their house before dinner. Ryan had formed tentative friendships with his new cousins but was exhausted and tired of being the center of attention.

Kirsten cornered him in the kitchen before dinner. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"You don't look okay," She replied.

"I'm…I'm tired."

She nodded. "Hard day."

"I just need some quiet…" He admitted.

"I understand. You can go lie down."

"What about…" Ryan started.

"Don't." She shook her head. "It's your turn. Go. I'll keep Seth away until after dinner."

Ryan was visibly relieved. "Thanks."

"And Ryan?"

He turned by the door.

"No smoking. I mean it."

"Okay," He smiled, leaving.

He stretched out on his bed. It was quiet except for the Jacuzzi pump in the background. He could take a break.

Not think about his mother.

Not think about his father.

Not think about his recently discovered relations.

He wouldn't think for a while.

When he fell asleep, he was relaxed for the first time in days.

----------

After dinner, Grace found Sandy and Kirsten in the kitchen.

"Grace. Everything all right?"

She nodded. "I just wanted to say thank you for taking such good care of Ryan. He seems…really special. Hell, even Corinne likes him and she hasn't liked anything lately."

"He's a part of our family," Kirsten said.

"I can see that. I'd like to keep him as a part of mine, too. If he wants to be…maybe something as simple as phone calls…or visits…only if you approve, of course," Grace said nervously.

"It's Ryan's decision," Sandy replied.

"I know. I'm going to be in town for a few more days. Brent wants to show us UCLA so we're all going to head over there tomorrow. I was hoping, maybe, we could take all of you out to dinner tomorrow night. Apparently, Corinne has already invited someone named Luke," She explained.

"That sounds nice. We'll talk to Ryan about it," Kirsten agreed.

"I'd also like to set up a trust fund for him…all my grandchildren have them."

"You'll have to discuss that with Ryan. He'll barely let us pay for his school. He's…stubborn about taking money," Sandy explained.

Brent and Seth entered. "Dad, can we see if Ryan's awake?" Seth asked. Sandy nodded.

Seth and Brent hurried across the patio to the poolhouse.

"Does he always leave the blinds up?"

"Unless he's mad. If they're closed, you shouldn't bother him," Seth explained. He knocked and walked in. Seth saw Ryan sleeping on top of the bed and he immediately started jumping on the bed.

"Seth." Ryan didn't open his eyes.

Seth continued to jump. "Get up, man…"

Ryan grabbed his ankle and Seth immediately fell onto the bed. Brent laughed at Seth's stunned expression.

"What time is it?" Ryan asked, nodding to Brent with a yawn.

"Eightish."

"Wow. What are you guys doing?" Ryan asked.

"Dad and Uncle Graham are arguing about politics and the girls are mooning over Luke," Brent replied.

Ryan smiled. "So, you guys want me inside?"

"Yeah. We were going to do some playstationing and we need your thumbs," Seth said.

"Sure. I'm feeling a little more social now," Ryan said, getting up.

"You, social? Brent, he's full of shit," Seth laughed.

"Maybe, but I can still kick your ass," Ryan warned.

----------


	9. Nine

_AN: Another mini-update from me. Enjoy._

--------------

Seth and the cousins finally let Ryan go to bed around eleven. He was more relaxed but his dreams were plagued with visions of his mother and father and he woke up after every nightmare.

When he finally decided to get out of bed, it was only around nine and he was still exhausted.

But he couldn't just sit around. He had to do something. He needed to do something. He needed to see his father. His mother had died and he hadn't been able to say goodbye to her. He wasn't sure how he felt about his father, the man had never shown any love or interest in him before. The man had seemed to enjoy punishing him. Trey had tried to distract him when he could, but it had never been a secret that he was a disappointment to his father.

He knew the Cohens wouldn't approve but this was the only way he could think of to have some peace. He was with the Cohens now, they'd proved that they wanted him as a part of their family. Grace and that stuff could wait. He had to talk to the man that had made him what he was. He had to go see his father.

He showered and dressed and told Rosa that he was going out. He'd figure out what he was going to say on the bus ride to prison.

----------

Ryan recognized his father through the plexiglass partition. He sat down and picked up the phone mounted on the wall.

"Ryan."

"You said you wanted to see me."

"Um…how are you?"

"Fine." Ryan kept his eyes glued to the table.

"Can you look at me?"

"Why?" Ryan's gaze flickered toward his father for a second.

"I knew you'd be angry…I don't blame you…I made a lot of mistakes…but you came…"

"Trey would kick my ass if he knew I was here…" Ryan muttered.

"What's happened to you? You're…you're a man now…nice clothes…"

"Mom ditched me. I live with a different family now."

"The lawyer…the one that called…he's your dad now?"

"Yeah," Ryan said after a pause. "You could say that."

Ryan's father nodded. "Seemed nice."

"Why'd you want to see me? Why now?" Ryan asked.

"I…I didn't know how to contact you. Dawn stopped coming years ago…I…I've been trying to change."

"How's that going?"

"I'm…I'm sorry. For everything. Your childhood…for not treating you better…for being such a bad father…"

Ryan shook his head, struggling to keep his face indifferent. "You weren't a father at all."

"Unfortunately…all I can do is say I'm sorry."

Ryan kept his face blank.

"I'm saved. I've found Jesus and…I'd like to try and have a relationship with you."

Ryan studied the man. He seemed sincere. Ryan lowered his gaze. He couldn't stop the tremor from running through him. "I don't think I can do this."

"But…you came today…that means something, doesn't it?"

"It was a bad idea. Good luck with your life." Ryan hung up the phone and stood up, walking out. He didn't look back.

----------

"Oh my god…" Kirsten embraced him as soon as he walked in. "Where have you been?"

"I told Rosa I was going out…" Ryan said.

"'Out' is not an acceptable destination. It's been over eight hours since you went 'out'," Sandy said.

"Dude. Not cool," Seth said from the stairs.

"I'm sorry…"

"We were worried, you didn't call, we couldn't find you…where were you?" Kirsten asked, leading him into the kitchen. He sat down on the 'punishment' stool."

"I had to take care of something…" Ryan said slowly.

"Ryan, these past few days have been hell for you…we are worried about you. Where were you?" Sandy asked seriously.

"I…I went to see him."

"Who?" Kirsten asked.

"My father."

Sandy and Kirsten froze.

Seth entered, pale. "Why would you do that? Trey said…"

"I know…I just…it was something I needed to do for myself," Ryan whispered.

"Why didn't you just tell us?" Kirsten asked.

"Because I knew you wouldn't let me go," Ryan admitted.

"You've been there this whole time?" She continued.

"I took the bus…when I got back…I went to the beach," Ryan whispered.

Seth was shaking his head at him. Sandy wouldn't look at him. Finally, Kirsten sighed. "Go to your room, Ryan."

"I'm sorry…"

"We know. We'll be out to talk to you," Sandy said.

Ryan stood up, his gaze lowered.

"Wait. Empty your pockets," Kirsten said suddenly.

"What?" Ryan asked.

"Empty your pockets," Kirsten repeated.

Ryan put his wallet, a lighter, a half-empty pack of cigarettes and keys on the counter.

"Smoking," Kirsten snapped. "You're grounded. Two weeks. I'm not going easy on you anymore, you _have _to quit. As of right now." She crumpled the pack and stuffed it into the trash can.

Ryan left his things and retreated to the poolhouse. Within minutes, Seth was knocking on the door. Ryan waved him inside.

"You okay?"

"Fine."

"How…how'd it go? With your dad?"

"Fine."

"Ryan?" Seth sighed, sitting down. "Give me something."

"He says he's changed. He apologized. Said he wanted to have a relationship…" Ryan said.

"And?"

"And what?"

"What'd you say?" Seth asked. It really was like pulling teeth to have a conversation with Ryan.

"I left. I said no and left."

Seth was looking at Ryan carefully. "You sure you're okay with that?"

Ryan hesitated. He ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah. You know how many times my mother apologized? How many times she said she changed?"

"This is your dad…"

"He's locked up. As soon as he gets out, he'll start drinking again and he'll be back to his old self," Ryan muttered.

"Then why go at all?" Seth asked.

"I don't know…it was stupid."

"We were worried," Seth said.

"I'm sorry."

Seth nodded. "Get some rest, man."

Seth went to the door. "I would've taken you."

"I know. I had to do it on my own," Ryan whispered.

----------

Ryan fell asleep and didn't wake up until after ten the next morning. For the first time in days, he didn't remember his dreams and he slept through the night. He glanced over and saw an oversized bowl of candy sitting beside a box of Nicorette.

"Morning," Kirsten said from the chair.

"Hey."

"Your cousins are outside at the pool," Kirsten said.

"Why the candy?" Ryan motioned toward the bowl.

"You have to quit smoking. Occupy your mouth, Ryan. Rosa's been warned. If I see either of you smoking, there'll be hell to pay. Got it?"

"Yeah," Ryan said.

"Luke and Summer are here, too."

"I'm up."

"Today will be better."

"Thanks. I am sorry about yesterday."

"Don't do it again," She paused. "If you want to see him…we won't stop you."

"I know. I don't want to see him…"

"You want to talk about it?" She asked.

"Not right now. Maybe later?" Ryan offered.

"Sure," She said. "When you're dressed, come inside for breakfast, okay?" She closed the door as she left. Ryan got ready quickly, showering and dressing. He knew that Seth was most likely still upset about his little disappearing act the day before but he hoped that today would be better when it came to uncomfortable conversations.

There was a loud knocking on the door. He answered it as he popped a piece of the nicotine gum in his mouth.

He opened the door. Seth, Summer and Luke were standing outside. "You're up?"

"Yeah. What's up?" He asked as they all filed in.

"Well, we were just swimming and stuff, it doesn't seem right for us to be hanging out with your family without you," Luke said. He immediately spotted the Nicorette box. "Ah, so Kirsten got you?"

"Yeah. I'm quitting. I don't want to know what she'll do if she catches me again," Ryan admitted.

"Grace and everyone wanted us to come out to dinner with them last night, but after you went all AWOL on us, they just came over today instead. I think she wants to talk to you. They're leaving tomorrow," Seth said.

"You still pissed at me?" Ryan asked.

"You went to see your dad, Chino? After all that drama at the funeral?" Summer asked before Seth could answer.

Ryan nodded.

"I'm not mad. We were just worried about you, that's all," Seth replied. "So, you coming out for some fun in the sun?"

"I don't have much choice," Ryan smiled. "Let's go, I'm wearing my trunks."

"You should probably eat something," Summer said.

"How do you know?" Ryan asked after a beat.

"Because you skipped out yesterday and Kirsten says you don't eat unless she makes you. Right?" Summer asked.

"When is the last time you ate something, man?" Seth asked.

"I'll go inside first," Ryan sighed, relenting.

"Good man. See? We'll get him back to normal in no time," Luke said, patting Ryan on the back as they walked out.

Corinne and Lorraine yelled their hellos from the pool. Brent was sitting in the Jacuzzi with his father.

Ryan joined Kirsten, Sandy and Grace in the kitchen. Kirsten immediately put a heaping plate of breakfast in front of him.

"Do I have to finish all this?" He asked, meeting her gaze reluctantly.

"Did you eat yesterday?" She replied.

Ryan sighed and lifted a spoonful of eggs to his mouth.

"You're lucky she didn't wake you last night and force you to eat," Sandy smiled.

"Sorry, I just…didn't think about it yesterday," Ryan admitted.

"Ryan, we're going to be going home tomorrow. I'd like to talk to you before I leave," Grace hesitated.

"We'll be outside if you need us," Sandy said, patting Ryan on the back as he walked out.

"Thanks. I'm listening, Grace," Ryan said, giving her his full attention as the Cohens gave them privacy.

"Well…I know these past few days have been really hard on you…"

"You, too, I guess. I mean, you found your daughter after all these years and she…and she died."

"At least I got to see her. And I got to meet you. I'm going to visit Trey this afternoon, Graham and I. We called him yesterday and he agreed to see us. Said you gave us your approval," Grace smiled.

"Trey…he's got some issues, but he's a good guy. He's a good brother most of the time, when he's not getting me arrested," Ryan replied.

Grace laughed. "I'm glad to hear that. What I wanted to talk to you about is…would you be willing to have a relationship with me? You're…you're all that's left of Dawn and I'd really like to get to know you."

Ryan was thoughtful. "You're very nice and I can tell that you really cared about Dawn. I've never really had a grandmother before…"

"Well, you have one now. I'm not pushing you, but…I travel quite a lot and it'd be nice if we could keep in touch. Maybe I could come see you when I'm in town…maybe you could come to Boston to visit me sometime?" Grace offered.

"That'd be nice," he said after a pause. "If the Cohens are okay with it."

Grace smiled widely. "Thank you…it means so much to me…I would never try and take you away from your family at Christmas or anything, but we'll figure something out. Maybe Seth could come with you or even the Cohens, too. I have lots of room. We'll figure it out as we go, okay?"

"Okay," He said.

"Also…all my grandchildren have trust funds set up for them…for their colleges or whatever they'd like to do after they graduate…"

"I can't take your money," Ryan said immediately.

"It's not my money. It's yours. I mean…" Grace was clearly trying to put her thoughts into words. "I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life. I have a great job, a great family…I want to provide for them. I lost Dawn because I wasn't around, I was so caught up in my 'great job' that I almost lost my boys, too. The trust fund…it's so they won't have to struggle, so they'll never want for anything…" She hesitated. "A few years after Dawn disappeared, I set up a fund for her, too. I wanted to help her if I found her, I knew she would need it…and now, it's got almost 400,000 dollars in it. I was going to sign it over to her once I saw her again…but now…if you won't accept an account of your own…will you accept Dawn's money? I mean, it's a parent's responsibility to provide for their child…"

"Wait. I…I don't want your money, Grace, it's not mine, you don't even know me…" He said, clearly uncomfortable.

"When I set up the funds for Brent and the twins, I didn't know them either, they were just babies. It's your money, Ryan. If you'll accept it. This way, you won't feel like you have to depend on the Cohens for everything…"

"I could pay them back for school…" Ryan said aloud and then turned red as he saw that she heard him.

"I don't think they care, Ryan. I think they'd love it if you'd accept their money. They care about you, you're just as much their son as Seth is. But I'd like to treat you the same as I treat my other grandchildren. Which means a trust fund." Grace was watching him carefully. "I'll let you think about it."

"Thanks. I need to think about it," Ryan admitted.

"You better finish your breakfast," Grace smiled, leaving him alone.

----------


	10. Ten

----------

"Dude. What are you doing in here? Aren't you going to come outside?" Seth asked, walking in and finding him alone in the kitchen.

"I was eating. Your mom said I had to finish this…" Ryan said, glaring at his still-heaping plate.

"Have you even touched it?"

"I…"

"What's wrong with you? I mean, why won't you eat?"

"If I have stuff on my mind, I can't really eat. My stomach shuts down," Ryan admitted.

"Well, you better start trying, Mom's already ordered a scale for you, something she can monitor your weight. She thinks you're anorexic or something," Seth replied. "What else?"

"Grace wants to give me money."

"Money?"

"Yeah. Like, a trust fund. I really will be like everyone else in Newport for once," Ryan snorted.

"Yeah? That's awesome, man…but obviously you don't think so," Seth realized.

"I just don't know…I don't know anything right now. I mean, think about it…who has a more fucked up family situation than me? I live with you guys, that aren't even related to me and people already think I'm some kind of con artist that's mooching off you, what are people going to say when they find out I have a trust fund miraculously appearing out of nowhere?"

"So…you care what people think?" Seth asked.

"No…I just…I don't want her money. It's like…everything always comes down to money. In the old days, money defined us because we didn't have any…everything was a struggle…and now, it's like, I'd be happy just to know that Grace wanted me to be a member of her family, but if she throws money into the mix…I can't explain it. I'd just like one thing in my life to not be affected by money," he said, running out of words.

Seth was startled. "Man…"

"No, I'm sorry for unloading on you…" he glanced out of the window before scraping half the plate of food into the garbage disposal and sitting down again with the remnants of his breakfast.

"Dude…"

"I can handle eating this. That was too much," Ryan said, looking at Seth with a flat expression on his face. All his earlier emotion was gone.

"Um…are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm going to eat this and then I'll be right out. I promise," Ryan smiled.

"Okay," Seth said slowly. "Because you just went on a little mini-rant and now…"

"I'm fine, Seth. Thanks for letting me 'rant', but I'm really okay. I swear," he promised.

"All right, man. We'll be outside."

Ryan nodded indifferently, taking a bite of eggs.

----------

"I think you should talk to Ryan," Seth said, walking up to his parents on the patio. He'd left Ryan in the kitchen, but he didn't believe that his friend was really okay.

"Is he all right?" Kirsten asked.

"He says he is. But…he's a little off," Seth admitted.

"He's had a hard couple of days, Seth. And he's still got his surprise family around him…he's not going to be himself for a while," Sandy said.

"I know…but…when he talks to me, I don't know what to say. That's why I think you guys should talk to him. Before he…well, does something stupid."

"What? Like what?"

"I don't know. But he…I'm worried about him," Seth sighed, walking away.

"If Seth's worried about him…" Kirsten started.

"Then we should be, too. I'll talk to him," Sandy said, starting toward the house. Before he could get there, Ryan stepped out. "Hey, kid."

"Hey," Ryan gave him a polite smile.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Fine. What's up?" Ryan asked.

"Nothing, I'm just a little worried about you."

He rolled his eyes. "Everyone's worried about me. I swear I'm fine. Really. I'd be better if everyone would stop asking me that."

Sandy nodded but was studying him carefully.

"Ryan! Coming in the pool?" Corinne called.

"Is that okay?" Ryan asked Sandy.

"Go ahead," Sandy said.

Luke walked over as Ryan started toward the pool. "Everybody's still watching you like you're going to break, huh?"

"Yeah." Ryan pulled off his shirt and set it on one of the pool chairs.

"Damn, man, AJ put a number on you, didn't he?" Luke remarked, seeing Ryan's bruised side.

"Looks worse than it is," Ryan muttered, his cheeks reddening slightly. He took a deep breath and dove into the pool.

----------

"I think I upset him," Grace was telling Kirsten and Sandy later that afternoon.

"What?" Sandy asked, turning his attention back to her.

"I talked to him about his trust fund…he said he had to think about it," Grace admitted.

"Grace, I doubt it's all your fault. With all this new information and the loss of his mother and the fact that I'm making him quit smoking…he's going to be a little grouchy," Kirsten said.

"Do you think I was wrong? Offering him the money? I mean…"

"Grace, you're just trying to treat him like you treat your other grandchildren. He'll come around," Sandy nodded.

----------

Ryan had retreated to the poolhouse to change clothes before dinner and wasn't surprised when there was a knock on the door. He walked over and opened it to reveal Graham and Evan. "Hey."

"Hi. Can we talk to you a few minutes? Out of the madness?" Evan waved his hand at his squabbling children that were still in the pool.

"Sure," Ryan shrugged and they followed him inside.

"We know that these past few days have been a little…surprising for you," Graham started.

"And springing a bunch of family members on you might not have been the best plan for welcoming you into the family," Evan echoed.

"But we would like to get to know you better," Graham continued.

"If you're willing to give us a chance…" Evan finished.

Ryan's gaze flickered between them as they talked, amused. He turned his back on him and walked over to his shelves, grabbing a button down shirt to put on over his wife-beater.

"Oh. I guess that's a no…" Graham said, startled.

"No, no…I'm just…not big on the talking. Give me a few minutes to catch up to you guys, okay?" Ryan said, settling him down with a smirk.

"I still can't believe you're Dawn's kid…she never could shut up," Evan said. Graham nudged him, shaking his head.

"No, its fine, you can talk about her. I…I just don't equate the Dawn you knew to the Dawn I knew, if you can understand that. I think she changed a lot…" Ryan said slowly.

"True. From the things I've heard…and seen…it must have been hard for you growing up," Graham acknowledged as Ryan sat down on the bed across from them.

"She never talked about her childhood…she didn't really talk about much of anything to me or Trey that I remember…" Ryan admitted.

"You knew that she had a drug problem?" Evan asked.

Ryan shrugged. "Mom and Dad always used drugs. She tried to quit a few times…court ordered rehabilitation, but…nothing ever really stuck. We got by."

"Kirsten and Sandy…they seem to be good people," Evan nodded.

"They are. They've done a lot for me. Shown me how a real family works," Ryan said.

"Mom said that you might be willing to get to know us…" Graham started.

"Yeah. I mean, you guys live pretty far, but…it's sort of weird for me. I don't mind…getting to know you guys. You all seem very nice." He tilted his head. "I can't say that I see much of Dawn in any of you…but like I said…Dawn was different here."

"We knew her when she was a girl…not a mother."

Ryan was clearly uncomfortable.

"We'll be back out here in a few months, getting Brent moved into the dorm and everything…maybe we could see you?" Evan offered.

"That'd be nice," Ryan shrugged.

"And maybe you could keep an eye on him for me?" Evan winked.

Ryan relaxed slightly. "Maybe. He seems pretty straight-laced, he probably doesn't need a chaperone."

"Well, all alone in a strange state's going to be rough on him. After…after Dawn left us all those years ago…we're pretty wary about letting family go too far. When he told us he applied to UCLA, god, we had quite a few arguments," Evan smiled.

Graham leaned forward. "Ryan. You're not going to just walk away from us, you know. We're not like Dawn…we won't just forget about you and cut you loose. You're stuck with us now."

Ryan blinked, startled. "Oh. Well…okay."

"Don't listen to Graham. He's just needy for family. No kids of his own, he has to mooch off the rest of us," Evan grinned. "He's the most involved uncle that I've ever met."

"You didn't complain when I was always offering to baby-sit," Graham retorted, before returning his attention to Ryan. "But he's right. I try to be close to my nieces and nephews. If you ever need anything, to talk or just to bounce stuff off of…I'm always going to be here."

Ryan nodded.

"Not a big talker," Graham smiled. "I keep hearing everyone say it but I still can't get used to it."

"Sorry. Seth usually fills up all the silences around here," Ryan muttered.

"Well, we better go round up the kids. You're staying for dinner?" Evan asked.

"I'm sort of grounded," Ryan admitted. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Good. See you later," Evan said, leading Graham from the poolhouse.

Ryan leaned back against his bed, trying to put his thoughts in order.

----------

"He's asleep? Again?" Corinne sighed as Seth returned from the poolhouse. "Is he narcoleptic or something?"

"Sorry. I guess the lack of nicotine in his system is getting to him," Seth smirked.

"Damn. Did you try waking him up?" Lorraine asked.

"He seemed to be sleeping pretty well. He usually wakes up when I open the door, but he didn't move. He's pretty tired, guys," Seth apologized again.

"Who needs a shiny new cousin if he's not awake to play with?" Corinne sighed dramatically.

"Why don't we go out? If tonight's our last night, maybe we should make the best of it. Me and Cohen can show you guys the sights of Newport and then maybe Chino will be awake by the time we get back," Luke offered.

"Sounds like a plan. You think Dad will go for it?" Lorraine asked.

"We'll work on him, come on." Corinne winked at Luke and hurried inside.

"So. Is Chino really okay?" Luke asked Seth when they were alone.

"I don't know. I can't really tell anymore." He lowered his voice. "When he was going after AJ the other day…I've never seen him like that."

"His mom just died. Seeing someone that always hurt her…it had to be rough on him. I…I can't even fathom what his life was like growing up. I mean, did you see that apartment?" Luke asked.

"Yeah. I'm just glad he's home and safe with us."

"You didn't kick his ass for going to see his dad?" Luke questioned.

"Nah. I mean…like you said, it's hard for me to understand what his life was like before here. So I can't fault him for going to see him…he needed to do it. But I still can't tell if he's going to be okay. He's…quiet."

Luke nodded as the twins returned. "So? Are we 'go' for a tour?"

"Yep. As long as we're back in an hour. We have to go back to the hotel and pack before our flights tomorrow," Corinne smiled.

----------

Ryan walked into the house and was surprised to find Sandy and Kirsten in the kitchen sharing a bowl of ice cream.

"Hey, kid. How're you feeling?" Sandy smiled at him.

"Better. Where is everyone?" Ryan asked.

"In the den watching CNN. We just snuck away for some drama-free time. Too much war and devastation's not good for us," Kirsten winked at him.

"Yeah, I get that." He sat down at the stool beside them.

"What's up?"

"I hate to say it…but I'll be glad when it's just us again. Not that the Thompson's aren't nice and all…it's just been a long week," Ryan sighed.

"Have some ice cream," Kirsten said, sliding the bowl across to him.

"No thanks. I'm full of candy…" Ryan admitted. "Oral fixation's going straight to my hips," he joked.

Kirsten laughed and Sandy was clearly startled. "Are you saying that smoking is what helps you keep your girlish figure?"

"Shh…it's a secret," Ryan smirked.

Sandy reached over and patted him on the back, pulling him close. "Everything will settle down soon, kid."

"Thanks. For everything…I couldn't have made it through these past few days without you guys," Ryan said quietly.

"That's what we're here for," Sandy replied.

"We'll always be here," Kirsten smiled, squeezing her husband's hand.

_**Fin...for now...**_


End file.
